Blindsight
by Rishqva
Summary: To get Al back Ed paid the Gate with everything but his life. Horribly mutilated he is taken home but he did gain something too and one year later he returns, mind and soul frighteningly sharp in a way no one truly understands. Alternative ending.
1. Everything but life

**Spoilers: **End of the old anime but slightly AU and will probably be more as the plot develops.

OK, so I got the idea for this fic after I had read a couple of angsty fics were Ed ended up in really bad shape, and I got a bit fed up with it. (Not that the fics were bad, they were quite good, otherwise I wouldn't have read them) So I thought that I should write a fic there Ed pays a high price, but still has a possibility to get back up and find a way to beat the crap out of that Gate. I did ad a bit inspiration from some of the old myths I know (there are surprisingly many blind gods/heroes/oracles in mythology) and hopefully it will be an interesting plot.

This is slightly AU since it was a while since I did watch the final episodes of the anime and simply rearranged what I remembered in a way that works for this fic. There will be more tweaking later, and the plot from next chapter and onward will be completely AU since Ed do _not_ end up on the other side of the Gate.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own a rubber duck, and certainly not The Fullmetal Alchemist either...

English is not my first language and I doesn't have a beta reader. All corrections are welcome.

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**Blindsight**

_**Everything but life**_

_She wasn't sure exactly how the fight had started. The memories appeared out of the haze that made up the weeks before, but she knew what her first clear memory was; Edwards death. No mater how many times she tried to forget, no mater how many times she reminded herself that he hadn't stayed dead for long, she still couldn't get rid of the memory. The blood, the laughing homunculus and the light that faded in those golden eyes._

_Time didn't move like it should in those memories, because the next thing she remembered was that Al disappeared in a flash of light. The armour disintegrated in front of her eyes and in the next moment Edward was back. Whole and alive and devastated. She answered his questions without a thought and watched him fret and pull his hair until he suddenly calmed. He turned to her, told her to back away, and in his eyes there were a determination that still scared her until this day. That was the last time she saw them, those burning eyes, deep and gold and bright as the sun._

_She remembered it as if she was there again..._

He drew his circles, on the ground and on himself, without hesitation. She watched from a distance, unable to turn around and leave as he had told her, but he had already forgotten that she was there. Then he knelt down in the middle of the circle, clapped his hands and activated the array. The usual blue and white of his alchemy lit up the circle in a beautiful show of light, but then the colour changed, became violet and black. And then the hands showed up. Black hands that would give her nightmares for months spurted from the ground, but he didn't break the transmutation, didn't hesitate. The black hands clawed over his body, caressed it in an almost lovingly manner and he began to disintegrate under their touch.

The homunculus, Envy, returned. Drawn back by the bright light. He laughed and came up to the circle. Taunting the disappearing alchemist, telling him what he would do to his little brother if he succeeded. Edward didn't budge, didn't show any signs that he had heard the torturing words, but in the next instant the black hands reached out of the circle, snatching the homunculus in an unyielding grip. Envy fought the hands, trashed and cursed, but there were no use. She saw how he was dragged to his destiny, kicking and biting, in sharp contrast to the alchemist beside him. Edward appeared calm, accepting even, when the hands claimed him and the light rose to a blinding strength.

When the light faded there was only one body in the circle. Long, thin and painfully starved. It was Al she realised, Edward had succeeded. This unexpected wonder managed to shake more of the fog out of her head. This was a miracle she understood somewhere deep inside. She walked over and knelt down by his side. He woke up, confused at first, but then he asked after his brother, although he probably already guessed the answer. She told him what she knew, hating herself for once again be the one to bring terrible news to one of the brothers. He stiffened and it was as if something broke inside him when he realised the truth. She was afraid of what he would do to himself, she had to anchor him to this life, to this world, and without a thought she placed her child in his arms.

In that moment alchemic light cracked above them and Envy was thrown to the ground out of nowhere. The homunculus coughed blood and limped when he staggered back on his feet, but when he saw Al he grinned malicious.

"Oh, ain't it Alphonse. The tin can has finally got his precious body back", Envy taunted him, "Too weak to move, too weak to defend himself. I could kill you, _little brother_, kill you right now and your brothers sacrifice would go to waste at once," he said and slowly began to move closer, like a cat stalking a mouse, "But I don't think I will do that", he laughed and stopped, "No, I will let you keep that body of yours, that perfect body without a single mark. You should keep it, and every single day it will remind you that it cost your brother his life. Funny how things end", Envy drawled, "I tried my best to kill the pipsqueak, but in the end it is you, _little brother_, who have his blood on your hands"

Alphonse didn't make a sound, his eyes just grew wide with pain and he was shaking. She was horrified. That monster. Those words wounded Al deeply, she knew it, but Envy continued merciless.

"But he was stupid that brother of yours, don't you think", Envy said with evil glee, "He had it all, he could have got his happy ever after, but he threw it away. But you won't do something that stupid, right Alphonse? You are clever, like me, _little brother_", he almost purred that last word, "You will go one with your life, won't you? Do all the things that he took away from you for all those years. You could travel the world, and you will be famous", he said with mocking drama, "Just step in to your brothers shoes, all the work is done. Alphonse Elric the Peoples Alchemist, doesn't it sound nice? You won't be the second brother anymore."

With growing dread she listened to the twisted words that came from the soulless creature, he was true to his name, Envy. Even now, she realised, did he envy Edwards life and did his best to extend his revenge to the other side of the grave. Alphonse lowered his head, cradling the child like a lifeline. He did look so fragile. So fragile. It awakened her protective instinct, a strong driving force she had discovered once her child was born, and then other feelings she hadn't known she possessed.

Evil, evil, evil. She had been surrounded by it for so long now. Corruption, lies, cruelness, betrayal, death and sorrow, would it ever stop? Envy wallowed in those things, lived solemnly for the purpose of spreading them further, she had learned that much during her time in Dante's clutches, and he held a special hatred against the Elric brothers. Against Ed and Al, the only people she knew that _always_ had tried to stand up against the destruction, tried to correct the mistakes even though they failed miserably sometimes. She remembered it, _You have two strong legs, use them. Stand on your own, walk forward, you don't need anyone else_. Harsh words. Cruel in their bluntness, but painfully true, and she had done it. She had been beaten down by life, fallen completely, but she was still alive wasn't she? She had stood up once, she could do it again.

"Stop it", she said to the evil creature and her weak voice rang like a bell in the compact silence. A long forgotten feeling had began to stir in her body. Anger. How long had it been since she felt true anger? Not since the day Father Cornellio was revealed as a fake.

"You can talk?", he turned to her in surprise but the tone was mocking.

"Yes, and I tell you to stop it", she answered with steady voice.

"Or you will do what?", he drawled with a lazy smile.

That smug bastard! That superior smile, just like the soldiers that had captured her. That smile that told her that she was helpless, weak, unable to control her destiny.

"Back off girlie, I said that I won't do anything to the little brother there, but you are a different matter", Envy said before he turned to Al with a calculating grin, "Would you like to watch it _brother_, I could snap her neck for you", he offered with obvious glee, "Can't leave any witnesses to that human transmutation you did, can you?", he continued. Al's head snapped up and he sent a panicked look in her direction, _get out_, his eyes screamed.

"And that child you have there...", Envy drawled, "It's soon too old to be of any use for Dante, maybe I should just squish it?", he said and grinned in triumph when Al instinctively tightened his protective grip around the infant.

There was like a thunderclap in her head. _The hell you will!_ Suddenly her body felt like it was alight, boiling with anger. Before she had time to think she snatched one of the spears that Edward had transmuted, the tip was broken but that didn't matter, it still held a good weight. She had lived in a war zone, she knew how to do this. Without hesitation, acting in a cold fury, she walked over to Envy and smashed his head with all her strength.

With a yelp he stumbled back, obviously surprised that his reflexes hadn't been fast enough to avoid the punch. He growled at her but she hit him again, bringing him down on his knees. Taking aim and gathering momentum she hit his head once more. Blood splattered with the impact but no red light rushed there to repair the damage. She saw how his eyes widened in fear when he realised that he didn't heal anymore. The Gate had taken something from him too, she realised.

Suddenly the tables had turned and he tried to scramble out of her way when she continued her merciless beating. All the anger, the helplessness, the fear, that had been bottled up inside her rushed out and gave her strength. She was going to kill him, beat him to death she dimly realised, but she still didn't hesitate. It felt good, this mindless rage and long awaited revenge.

Cursing violently he managed to get back on his feet and tried to fight back, but in his weakened state he was no match for her rage, and he knew it. His body did speak of a growing dread when he found himself helpless against a mere human and in a sudden burst of strength he limped away. She caught up with him and sent him on his way with a bone crushing swing. Running for his life he disappeared in to the shadows.

For a moment she stopped, uncertain of what to do, but then the bound to her child won out. She couldn't leave him without protection, and Al was helpless at the moment. She turned back. Kneeling down beside Alphonse once more. He gave her a small smile, a smile that would have grown to a laugh if he hadn't remembered that Ed was gone in the next instance. She saw the exact moment when realisation struck again. He turned his head out of habit, trying to get his brothers opinion, but then he took in the emptiness by his side. His bronze eyes vent flat and he stiffened, holding back a stab of pain. She gingerly patted him on the shoulder, tried to soothe him with the mere human presence. What else could she do? She felt completely useless, and the heat from the rage was draining away, leaving her stranded and cold.

Then, in the moment of despair, the alchemic light sparked to life above them again. A mirror image of the array on the ground glowed in thin blue lines on a swirling disk of white fog. The spinning motion was disrupted when the black hands reappeared, cradling something in their clutches. Slowly they descended to the ground, releasing their burden, stroke the unmoving form a last time and then retreated. The light of the array faded and the fog melted away.

"Brother!", Al's cry yanked her back to reality and she realised that the bundle that the hands left behind really was Edward. Hard metal shone against his bare chest and with a sting in her heart she noticed that he had his automail back again. Alphonse tried to get to his feet but his unused body didn't respond properly. She stepped over to check on Ed in his brothers stead, he was alive, she could see that he was breathing, but when she came closer horror gripped her.

"_No_...", she whispered.

"What! Tell me, is he okay?! Is he alive!", Al began to shamble sideways over the floor, still with her child in his arms.

"He's alive Al", she said in dead voice, "But the Gate... It took his other arm and leg." She felt tears running down her face, it was so unfair. Al did look at her with growing horror and then redoubled the speed of his awkward shuffle.

"Brother!", he wailed, trying to get some reaction from the mangled form, "Is he bleeding? Is he wounded? Don't just stand there, help him!", Al cried, frustrated by his own helplessness. She was startled by his harsh words, but then she realised how true they were. God, he could be bleeding to death! She acted immediately, bent down over the curled up form and turned him to his back, but she couldn't find any blood.

When she had overcome the worst chock of the fact that he was missing another pair of limbs she realised that the wounds were healed. His arm was taken right of his shoulder, not leaving anything of it, but were it should have been a gaping wound there were thinly stretched skin. The leg was the same. The pant leg had been ripped away with the leg and she saw that the end of the remaining stump were cowered with skin. The skin was paper-thin and fragile looking, but _healed _non there less.

"He's not bleeding", she said with bout relief and surprise, but she didn't have to elaborate more than that since Al already were by his brothers side, franticly checking his body for any bleeding wounds. Quietly she picked up her child and watched as Al calmed down when he had ensured himself that Ed's life were in no immediate danger. Ed appeared to be sleeping deeply and there was a calm aura around him that assured them that he would wake up eventually.

Slowly Al stroke over his brothers chest, tracing the smeared remains of a transmutation circle, and then brushed the hair out of Ed's face. Watching the tentative touch she remembered that Al hadn't been able to touch and feel anything for years. Her heart ached, this was supposed to be a happy moment. Al had his body back and Ed was still alive, but the cruel price took away the joy. A pained gasp from Al shook her out of her thoughts.

"His eyes... Not his eyes", Al pleaded and carefully prodded over Ed's closed eyes. _No, not that too_, she thought and an icy chill travelled along her spine. Dreading what she would see she awaited the result of Al's examination. Slowly Al sunk back, watching his brother with sorrow. Ed's closed eyelids were fused together and wouldn't open. They were far too sunken back in to the head, giving him an eerie hollow look. The eye sockets were empty, his eyes had been part of the price.

"_Brother_", Al sobbed, tracing the sleeping face, before he curled up and wept against his shoulder, "_This was too much... too much..._", he whispered, "_I will get it back to you, I promise, Brother, I promise..._"

She were completely forgotten in the moment, but she couldn't blame Al. No, she could only stare in horror as it slowly settled in her mind. Edward would never watch her, or anything else, with eyes of burning gold again. Those eyes that had radiated all his strength and determination, they were gone, forever lost. _Yes, that was too much..._

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**AN:** Yes, Rose beat the crap out of Envy. I didn't plan for that when I started writing, it just sort of happened, but I figured that everybody has a breaking point and, honestly, I think it's about time that she snapped ...and it was kind of fun to write.

I have discovered that I have _no_ talent in writing angst *Sights* I keep adding in fun situations without even thinking about it. Oh, well, I will just keep writing in my style and be happy with it.

I did deliberately not use Rose's name in the whole chapter since I tried to get some sort of stylistic effect. Tell me if it worked, or if it just sounds stupid.

And yes, the black hands was a bit too nice to Ed, but there is a reason for that. You will see.


	2. Autopilot

Short chapter from Al's POV.

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**Autopilot**

He felt cold, _he rely felt it, a part of his mind said in wonder_, the only thing warm was his brothers chest under his chin. Al blinked and tear drops fell from his eyelashes, _the first tears in four long years_, but he didn't cry any more. He felt numb, despite the onslaught of almost forgotten senses. _What now?_ He stared with empty eyes for an eternity. A sudden movement startled him and he snapped back to reality.

It was Rose. She looked at him with worried eyes. Al stared back. He felt dead, but then his survival instinct kicked in. Fine-tuned by four years of dangerous missions and a crazy teacher before that, it urged him to move. The wheels in his head slowly began to turn again. _Get out of here, get somewhere safe._

After several failed attempts he finally managed to get his shaking legs to work properly, _an alien sensation of bones and muscles moving, blood rushing and heart beating_. He scanned the area and then stumbled over to the pile of Ed's shed clothes. _Brother must be freezing._ Without thinking he clapped his hands and cleaned the blood from them. _Brothers blood, don't think about it_. Another clap and the torn fabric was better than new. _Torn from Envy's lethal stab, don't think about it_. He began to pick the clothes up but stopped. Something had been on his mind for a while, ever since he laid eyes on the clothes. _You're naked._ That was it, a clap and the black tank top turned in to an acceptable pair of shorts. He struggled to get them on with limbs that wouldn't move like they should.

Rose quietly picked up Ed's black jacket and began to carefully put it back on him. The child whined, but she soothed it with soft mumbles and the cavern was silent once more. _Too silent, there is danger lurking somewhere out there._ Al felt the hair on his body rise, partly from could but more from something else. _Move it!_ He pulled on his brothers red coat, _soft and warm and with a foreign yet familiar smell._

Wordless he made his way over to Rose. She put her child in his arms before she turned around and hauled up Ed in her arms. _Automail dangling useless, he looks so small._ Ed was a bit too heavy for her, but Al couldn't do anything about it. He was barely strong enough to walk himself. _Insecure and vulnerable in his flesh body._ Guided by his instincts and a confused memory he led the way. Rose struggled with the dead weight but didn't complain. Al didn't say a word during their painfully slow march toward the surface. He was working on autopilot and nothing more.

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**AN:** I have decided to tell this story by using snapshots and key scenes. The length of different chapters may vary widely. Hopefully this will make it easier for me to get somewhere with the plot.

And a thanks to Very Swamphe who pointed out that I had mixed up _daunted_ and _taunted_ in the last chapter. (the evil of English... *mumbles*)

Please review, I have 82 visitors but only one review. I would be nice to know if people actually likes what I write or if they clicks, reads five sentences and then goes "urgh! *close tab*" Tell me if you think it is shit to, just motivate it.


	3. Be strong, they need you

Rose's POV mostly.

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**Be strong, they need you**

Rose tried to look as casual as possible when she slipped trough the doors of the old abandoned temple, like she did it every day. The man behind her hesitated slightly before he followed in to the dusty half-light.

"They are here?", he asked and threw a distrustful look at the seemingly undisturbed rubble that covered the floor.

"Yes, I left them here and none of them was in any shape to move around on their own", she said and climbed over a pile of stones fallen from the ceiling, "Besides, Al's not stupid, it was he that sent me out to get some help while still stay out of reach from the military"

"Huh, they really are in trouble with the military then", the man, Jacob, rumbled, "There is something going on with the State and I don't like it. The rumours are completely wild and contradict themselves", he faltered and thought for a moment, "Many of those rumours includes Fullmetal, and it's not very nice rumours. He could be in danger from more than the military if it gets out that he is in town."

"Yes, and that's why they need our help", Rose said and turned to her old friend, "You... Do you believe in those rumours?", she asked, her violet eyes serious, tracing his face for any signs of doubt. Jacob thought for a moment, he wasn't a man to make hasty decisions. Rose waited patiently, it was because of this thoughtfulness she had been so happy to find Jacob in a group of refugees from Lior that had settled down in Central.

"I think...", he started and studied Rose's tens stance, "I think that it may be a grain of truth in those rumours", he said but held up a hand when Rose began to protest, "_But_", he emphasized, "I think that even if the rumours got some details right they doesn't tell the whole story. I was there when that kid waltzed in to our town and revealed what a rotten lie we had build our lives around. I know that some people think that it would have been better if we had never known the truth since the uproar started merely days after. Sometimes I feel that way too, but I also remember what Cornellio said in that radio-broadcast. An army of believers, an army that didn't fear death. That was his plan and that mean that it was only a question of time before there would have been a rebellion in Lior in any case. But then we would have fought and died for a lie", he smiled at her, "I think Fullmetal did us a favour despite how things turned out."

"Yes, that's what I think too", Rose said with a ghost of a smile, but then her eyes became sad, "It was a harsh awakening for me, I lost my fate and the uproar was terrible, but I can't help wondering. What if I hadn't known the truth? How far would I have gone in blind faith? I told Ed what Cornellio had promised me, promised to revive my Cain, and Al told me that that lie was the reason why Ed acted despite how happy our city appeared. I owe him so much."

"You're not the only one", Jacob nodded, "Fullmetal didn't get his reputation for nothing and that's yet another thing that sounds fishy about those rumours. Why would the guy that's known as the Peoples Alchemist suddenly become some sorts of mass murderer?"

"He isn't", Rose said, "I was there, Ed didn't make the transmutation circle in Lior. It was Scar." She didn't elaborate about the details, it wasn't necessary and she wasn't sure how everything fit together herself.

"That settles it then", Jacob said and put a big hand on her shoulder, "I told you that I would help them. If they mean that much for you I promise to keep them safe. Don't you trust me?" Rose felt the warmth radiating from the hand on her shoulder, yes she trusted him. Jacob had been a friend and neighbour since back when her parents were still alive. He was a big, honest, hard working and intelligent man, exactly the type of friend she needed right now, but she didn't want him to get in trouble. At least she felt that he should be aware of the situation he got himself involved in.

"I trust you", she said with a warm smile, "but keeping them safe it is not a small promise to make. They are in big trouble and if _anyone_ finds out that they are here they will probably be killed", her eyes was hard, something Jacob never seen before. Rose certainly had changed and Jacob wasn't sure how he felt about that. Rose had always been an girl of a soft nature but life had been hard on her and after what he had seen before he left Lior he had feared that she might break. This Rose did look fragile, but there was strength in her eyes and he preferred that over the lost look she had before.

"I understand", he said, "I still stand by my promise, but there is more, isn't it?", he asked and looked at her with clear brown eyes, softly demanding an explanation, "You are so fiercely protective and you did look so determined when you searched through the refugee settlement. That district isn't the safest area in Central, but still no one bothered you. You are radiating strength Rose, and I haven't seen you like this before." Rose gave him a warm smile, he was as considerate as ever, but she made a ironic face at herself. Jacob didn't know that she had been The Holly Mother of Lior. That she had managed to inspire people to live on and fight, to follow her, even though she still was mute.

Back then she had been a front figure, someone to gather around, and as such she had been used. She had known very well that Scar did use her for his own purposes, but she had let it happen. Partly because she was too tired to even think of an opinion of her own, partly because she thought he was right, and partly because it was in her nature to follow people. _That's what I always have done, followed other people, clinging to their ideas and making them mine, _she thought. But that had to end now. She had got burned by Cornellio, Scar and Lyra, it was about time that she learned her lesson. From now on she would stand on her own and walk forward... Suddenly she smiled at herself. _I'm hopeless ain't I? Now I'm clinging to Ed, just like the others. But is that such a bad idea? I'm aware of it this time, and it's different. The other told me to trust __**them**__, to follow __**them**__, Ed told me to trust __**myself**__, to find my __**own**__ way. It's different... and Ed and Al needs me. The world has beaten them hard this time. They will have to stand up again. Yes, and I will be there to support them as much as I can, that's the least I can do. And maybe, just maybe I will learn to stand on my own by watching them._

Rose had made up her mind, she would help them. Protect them until they could do it themselves, make sure that they had a chance to recover. Not for a single moment did she doubt that they would recover if they just got the opportunity. She had faith in them, faith that somehow, despite the desperate situation, the Elrics would find a way to stand up again. Because if you see someone die and then come back to life again, you can't help but start to believe that they can do anything.

"I has to be strong Jacob, they _need_ me", she explained, lifted her chin and got a determined look, "Ed saved my life down there", she stated, "and my child's life too, but now bout he and Al are helpless"

"Helpless?", Jacob was surprised, Rose had told him that the Elrics were wounded, but helpless? That was such a strong word and he found it hard to apply on the burningly bright kid in his memory.

"I...", Rose didn't know how to start, "Something happened down there, it has to do with alchemy", she began, "There's some things you have to know to understand this, but you can't tell anyone about it. _No one_ can here about this. Promise", she pleaded with great urgency. She had to tell him, despite the fact that she hated to reveal a secret that could put Ed and Al in terribly danger if it got out, but Jacob wasn't stupid. If she didn't tell him he was more likely to try piecing it together on his own, and since the circumstances was more than complicated it would be easy for him to get something wrong.

"Rose, you know that I can keep a secret", Jacob reassured her, a slightly hurt tone in his voice. Did she really think so little of him?

"Yes, but the secret that I'm about to tell you belongs to Ed and Al, and I wouldn't share it with anyone if I didn't think it was necessary. You has to _understand_", she emphasized and then fell silent for a long moment before she continued, "Do you remember the armour that Al used to wear?"

"I remember, it was rather hard to miss, wasn't it?", Jacob answered hesitantly, gave her a questioning look and shifted on his feet. He didn't know why Rose suddenly mentioned that. Sure, Al's armour was strange, but just like everyone else he had accepted it as one of the Elric's odd quirks.

"Yes", Rose said and took a deep breath, "But the thing is, that armour was empty. There was no one inside, nothing but Al's soul", she continued and held his gaze the whole time, confirming that she was serious.

"Wah?", Jakob blinked dumbly. This was certainly not what he had expected. _...nothing but Al's soul..._ He let the statement echo in his head. Jacob didn't look that bright, but he had a sharp mind and now it was working overtime to process what he just heard. The thought was mind-blowing. A soul in an empty armour, was that the Elric brothers secret? Was it even possible? He didn't know much about alchemy, had just got a mild interest for it after Cornellio's bluff, but he was pretty sure that something like that would be a remarkable feat for any alchemist. But it sounded far-fetched. Suddenly he doubted the whole thing, Rose must have misunderstood something. He looked sceptical when he turned back to her.

"It's a long story", Rose sighted when she caught his expression, but then her voice got a dark tone when she told him the story, "Ed and Al's mother died when they was very young, and they didn't have any other family left", she began, watching Jacob, who gave a slow nod, "but when they were ten and eleven years old they tried to bring her back. Back from the dead. Using alchemy", she stated and waited for his reaction. There was a long silence and Jacob felt a chill run down his spine.

"But that's... taboo", he said when he finally had wrapped his mind around the thought. _Ten and eleven years old, alone in the world and committing a taboo_... It was all too easy to let your imagination run wild, it sounded like a ghost story, not like something that actually happened in the real world. He felt a pang of sympathy for the kids. _They must have been lonely, terribly lonely_.

"Yes, and they failed", she said softly and closed her eyes in a sad gesture, "It's impossible to bring the dead back to life, that's why it's taboo, but they still had to pay the price for their attempt"

"A price... Isn't that what alchemists always says. You have to pay a price for everything you do", Jacob had a feeling that he knew were this was heading.

"Yes, and the price was high. Ed lost his leg and Al lost his _entire body_", she emphasized, "Ed saved his soul by binding it to a suit of armour, and that cost him his right arm. Ever since that day they have tried to find a way to get their bodies back to normal. Ed became a State Alchemist to get access to the resources they needed, it was the only way he says", Rose explained.

Jacob stared, so _that_ was the Elric brother's secret. _That_ was the reason why a twelve-year-old child had decided to become a State Alchemist. The Fullmetal Alchemist wasn't a foolhardy kid looking for fame and glory as most people had concluded. He was trying to make up for a mistake, trying to make things right again, trying to save his little brother. ..._that cost him his right arm_... Jacob shuddered, it was a saying wasn't it? _I would give my right arm_, that's what you said when you truly wanted something. But, he wondered, how many people would actually be prepared to pay that price? Suddenly he did understand why Rose felt so strongly for the brothers.

"That's a cruel price... and an impossible task", he finally said and slowly shook his head. God, he couldn't imagine what kind of drive and determination one must have to shoulder such a commitment year after year without losing faith.

"It is, but Ed succeeded", Rose said and then stopped. He eyes widened as if it wasn't until now she realised what had actually happened, "He did succeed...", she whispered and felt tears begin to form. _It was all he wanted, he was ready to pay the price_, she thought, _he was ready to die_... She drew a shaky breath and continued, "I don't know how he did it, but after the fight down there Al should have died. Ed couldn't stand that and he did... _something_. He got Al's body back. Al is whole again, he doesn't have the armour anymore, but Ed... Ed paid the price."

A look of horror slowly crept over Jacob's face when he figured out what kind of price it could be. If Edward had paid an arm and a leg before, what was the price this time? Alchemy suddenly seemed very grim and cruel.

"Do you understand now?", Rose said and began to walk again. She waved him with her trough a side door that he hadn't seen in the poor light. Jacob closed his eyes to steel himself for what he would see before he followed.

"Yes", he said with steady voice, "How much have he lost?", he asked. Rose turned around and gave him a grim smile.

"Too much", was her only answer.

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**AN:** Okay, I'm not that pleased with this chapter, I usually want a better balance between dialogue and action, but since I want to get on with the plot this will do. The whole point with this is to develop Rose's character and show how some 'normal people' in the form of Jacob reacts to the truth about Ed and Al, while I still managed to get them a new ally. Jacob won't play a big role, but he will be important in an indirect way.

And if you wonder how Rose knew all this I figured that Al told the story to her the first time they met in Lior, you know, while rigging the radio equipment.

Next chapter will be short and named _Fire in fragile shell._ I have never bothered with chapter names before, but since every chapter in this fic are made up of one key scene it is a really nice way for me to plan the plot. I got crazy with inspiration and wrote down a list with the name of the next ten chapters and about twice as many chapters/scenes that takes place sometime further in to the plot, and voilà, I have a perfect plan for how things should develop. Why didn't I think of this before? It's always the boring parts between the key scenes that uses to kill my Muse, but in this fic I simply skip those parts. I'm a genius!

Reviews always makes me more inclined to write BTW. *Hint, hint*


	4. Fire in fragile shell

Jacob's POV

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**Fire in fragile shell**

At first Jacob didn't see anything when he entered the dimly lit room, the only light came from a small round window at the far end wall. The painted glass was stained with years of dirt and the room smelled like centuries of silence. He took a step forward when his eyes finally began to adjust but Rose held up a hand to stop him. Jacob gave her a inquiring glance but she just shook her head and turned to the empty room.

"Alphonse, it's me, Rose, and I brought a friend with me", she said. There was a moment when nothing happened, but then Jacob spotted a movement. Something he had thought was just a piece of the rubble that littered the room straightened up and revealed itself as a boy that had been hunched down beside another unmoving shape. The boy took a step forward, placing himself between them and the silent form behind him, hands lifted and ready to clap. The scarce light fell on him and Jacob faltered, staring in wonder.

So this was Alphonse Elric, just reunited with his body. The boy was painfully thin, every single bone was visible and his brothers coat hang loose on him, but he wore it like a magicians robe. The deep rich red contrasted against the pail white of Alphonse's skin, but still he didn't look weak. His body had an unearthly glow in the twilight, _as if his soul are to bright to truly fit inside that body_, and his protective stance radiated power. Jacob took in the waist long hair, lose locks of dark honey gold, and studied his face. Softer, more childish features than his brother's but with the same determination etched in every line, and his eyes... It was hard to meet the gaze of those eyes. Rounder, less catlike than his brother's, golden bronze instead of Ed's pure gold, but they were burning just the same.

"It's okay Al", Rose said and walked over to him, "Jacob is an old friend of mine", she explained before she turned her attention to the shape behind him, "How is Ed? Any changes?" Al slumped slightly and lowered his hands. Suddenly the uncanny aura was gone and he looked tired, tired and heart wrenchingly thin. _He is a walking skeleton, it's a wonder that he can stand at all_, Jakob thought.

"No, he is still sleeping, but I think it's just sleep and nothing more", Al said softly, "He kind of sneezed and huffed when my hair tickled his nose", he explained with a weak smile before he turned to Jacob and eyed him timidly, "Sorry that I was so hostile", he said with a flicker of embarrassment. Jacob blinked, surprised by the change in the boy's persona.

"No problem kid, I've heard that you and your brother have had enough trouble lately to make anyone jumpy", he quickly said to hide his confusion, "I'm Jacob Sanza, I've known Rose since she was a toddler, and she told me that you may need some help", his mouth continued on it's own and he held out his right hand to Al. _Stop babbling like a fool_, Jacob told himself, _this isn't the time for banalities_. Alphonse smiled again, but there was sorrow in his eyes.

"Yes, we have had some trouble...", he said quietly but took the offered hand and shook it. Jacob grasped the small hand with great care, the boy did look so fragile, like he would snap under the slightest pressure. But looks could be deceiving. Jacob still remembered his first impression of Alphonse, and he would make sure to never forget it.

Jacob took the small hand in a firmer grip and smiled when it returned the squeeze. He wouldn't let the fragile shell trick him. He could still feel the fire within.

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**AN:** Yes, with Ed out of commission a stressed out Al steps up and takes the lead. As you may have noticed I will base some details on the manga, such as Alphonse's appearance. I suppose I should put up a warning for some minor manga spoilers.


	5. Of alleyways and kittens

Rose's POV

* * *

**Of alleyways and kittens**

Rose glanced up at her old friend before they darted over a wider street and resumed their trip trough the alleyways of Central. Jacob's clenched jaws were a clear sign of his distress. Rose still remembered the look of shock and horror that had crossed his features when he realised that the limbs Ed had left was the automail ones, and when Al told him about Ed's eyes... Jacob's face had frozen in this cold mask of frustrated helplessness before he gently, so very gently, had wrapped Ed in his jacket and carefully lifted him. Not even Alphonse, who had shown a fiercely protective side when it came to his brother, had found any reason to object about how Jacob handled Ed. Rose sighted, Jacob had a soft spot for kids and it was hard on him to see Ed in this state. Ed who, despite his larger-than-life personality, still was a child no mater how much he denied it himself.

Not that Al was in very good shape either. Rose slowed her steps and let the younger Elric catch up with her. Alphonse struggled to keep up with their speed, staggering in the primitive sandals he had transmuted, forcing his weak body to move.

"I wish we could take a cab", Rose said and shifted the grip around her child. The baby had been blessedly quiet most of the time. She had changed on him and feed him in the refugee settlement before she brought Jacob back with her to fetch the Elrics, but she was still grateful that he was an unusually quiet baby.

"It would rise suspicions", Al panted, "The cabdrivers of Central are the biggest rumourmongers in Amestris, you said it yourself", he continued and pulled the coat tighter around himself and kept walking. Al had reluctantly transmuted some dirt in to the fabric, changing the eye-catching colour to a more subtle dark brown. Rose was glad that he could keep the warm garment since his starved body, with no body fat at all, had started to shiver in the cold evening air.

They walked quietly for some time. The refugee settlement was in the outskirts if the city in an area that previously had been the main station for Central's cargo trains. It was a long walk but Rose made sure that they kept a slow but steady pace and she was constantly checking the surrounding to make sure that their odd little group didn't attract unwanted attention. A moment later she realised that Al wasn't by her side anymore.

"Al?", she said nervously and turned around. There he was, ten meters behind her, hunched down beside a loading platform and peeking at something behind some broken wooden cases. A moment later he picked it up and turned towards her. In his hands was a small dark grey kitten that let out an adorable little meow. Rose couldn't even begin to sort out the many expressions that passed over his face when he showed her the animal.

"It's so soft", Al said in wonder, petting the purring kitten, "So warm and soft and the whole body vibrates when it purrs", he continued and looked at her with tears in his eyes.

Rose's heart ached when she saw the pure happiness Al expressed over the simple grace of feeling the small animal in his hands. Jacob had noticed their absence and returned to her side with a tear eyed smile. Together they watched Alphonse carefully examine the kitten, rubbing the empty stomach, letting soft claws scratch him.

"_So soft_", Al whispered and buried his nose in the silky fur while silent tears trickled down his cheeks. He lifted his head and eyed his brother with a gratitude that for a moment bordered in worship, but then his features darkened. Sorrow and guilt clouded over the childish face. Rose knew that Al was unused to express any feelings with his body and he didn't guard his expressions at all, she could read every single thought and the raw feelings cut her like knifes. Alphonse's breath hitched and his body shook when reality once more hit him.

"I can't keep it", Al said in a hoarse whisper, "I has to take care of Brother", he said and watched the defenceless form in Jacob's arms with a sorrow close to despair, "Brother is more important then a kitten", he continued, closed his eyes, took a deep breath and turned to put the soft bundle of purring fur back where he found it. That was more than the soft hearted Jacob could take.

"Keep the kitten kid", he said with a voice that was suspiciously wobbly, "You won't take care of your brother alone, on little kitten won't do any difference. Even if you can't keep it for long I'm sure someone will take it in."

That made Al hesitate and he froze were he sat, hunched down with his left hand out to give the kitten one last pat. The kitten looked up at him and meowed. Suddenly Al snatched back his hand as if the animal burned him. He hugged himself and curled up even more. Rose put a hand on his shoulder, his whole body trembled with silent sobs and his hitched breaths echoed in the quiet alleyway. She rubbed his neck in a shooting motion, Rose wasn't surprised, sooner or later he had to let the tears out, but just one look at the kitten told her that it wasn't the _cat_ he cried over.

The kitten had yellow eyes, a bright yellow almost golden hue, different but still much to close to the colour of an other pair of eyes. _Oh almighty God, if you are out there, you really had to rub it in didn't you?_ Rose thought with a cynicism that startled her.

* * *

**AN:** Pointless chapter and more angst I know, but I has to move things in small steps right now. Soon Ed will wake up and ad a bit _Supernatural_ to the _Angst_.


	6. Sorrow and gratitude

Al's POV

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**Sorrow and gratitude**

The kitten pounced a lock of loose hair and woke Al from his slumber. The first thing he did was to check on Ed, no change there. His brother had been sleeping for two days now, a seemingly natural sleep except for the fact that nothing could wake him. Al had done the same. He had spent most of the time sleeping, curled up with a hand on Ed's chest to be sure he noticed any movements, only waking up when it was time to eat. _Eat_, yes he could eat again. Al smiled. They had refused to give him anything but thin broth or sweet tea at first but since his stomach didn't revolt he had been allowed a bowl of stew at lunch, but still only small portions. Not that Al complained that much, any food at all was a step in the right direction and he didn't want to be sick, but the tastes! Every taste was somewhat of a shock, even water had a distinct but subtle taste, and it made him ravenous. It had taken his confused body a day to begin registering hunger, but then it had been a constant ache in his stomach only temporary cured by the small meals.

Al sat up, absent-mindedly looking at the playing kitten while he thought. The kitten did look black at a distance but closer up one could see that it was dark gray with broad black tabby markings, and one white paw. Al was glad for the distraction the animal provided because he had began to worry about his brother, shouldn't he wake up soon? Carefully he shook Ed's shoulder.

"Wake up Brother, please don't sleep forever", he said softly, waiting for Ed's response. Ed's breath changed and he stirred slightly, mumbling something vaguely protesting and his automail arm twitched, but then he sunk back into the deep slumber again. Al sighted, he supposed that he should be relived that Ed responded that much, yesterday he and Rose had even got him to drink a little, but he still worried. The problem was that he was almost equally worried about the two alternatives. Either Ed kept sleeping, which would be bad since the sleep could pass over in to a coma, but waking up... Al dreaded and longed for the moment his brother woke up. What if he didn't remember what had happened? Alphonse wasn't sure he could stand the thought of telling his brother, his free-spirited brother that was used to do everything himself, that he hadn't only lost his last human limbs but also was _blind_.

Al's breath hitched and he began crying again. He couldn't help it, it was a body thing, he cried so easy right now. He had had feelings during his four years in amour, strong feelings too, but now when he had a body again everything felt so much more. The reactions of the body added a whole new dimension to his emotions. A beating heart that beat painfully fast sometimes, his breath that responded to every emotion, real tears, hormones and signal substances that rushed trough him and played havoc with his state of mind. Adrenalin had actually been a real shock and suddenly he understood his brothers mercurial temperament a bit better. It wasn't until now, when he had his body back, that that he realized that he had experienced the world trough an invisible glass wall during the last four years, but now everything was hammering against his skin, raw and new and _there_.

Irritated Al dried his tears with the heel of his hand, _he_ had nothing to cry over. He should be ecstatic that he finally was flesh and blood again, and he was. Yes he was ecstatic, awed by all the new things he felt and so grateful that it almost hurt, but his brothers situation dampened his spirit. God, Ed had paid so _much_. _Too_ much. Alphonse couldn't help wondering if he really was worth such a sacrifice. His brother had given up four years of his life, devoted himself completely to their search, suffered pain and injuries without complain and now _this_. Al had been harshly reminded about how much any pain actually did _hurt_ and viewed his brothers many scars and automail with new dread. The price had been too big, but the worst part was that deep down he _knew_ that the fact that Ed still was _alive_ was a miracle. That last transmutation should have killed him. Al figured that Envy's involvement had something to do with it, but still. His brothers talent for alchemy was on a different level than his own. _He_ had sacrificed himself _and_ a philosophers stone and barely got Ed back, while his brother had done the same _without_ a stone and still managed to get back alive.

As much of a life as it was... _No_, Al shook his head, he couldn't allow himself to pity his brother, Ed would be _furious_ if he ever got wind of it. But sooner or later he had to face this new situation Ed was in. The arm and leg was bad enough, Al didn't want to even think about how painful it would be to have _four_ automail limbs, but he knew that his brother would have been strong enough to take it, and then they could have continued their journey until they found a way to restore Ed's body too. But now they had an additional problem. Ed was _blind_ and that was a severe handicap. Sure, there were lots of people that lived good lives despite their blindness, but it was rather calm lives, at least in comparison with the kind of life the Fullmetal alchemist had lived.

Ed would need constant help to manage his daily life, which Al was fully prepared to provide him with, but in the long run the biggest problem was that Ed wouldn't be able to effectively help him with his research. Ed wouldn't be able to _read_ anymore and that more or less locked up his brilliant mind inside his head. Al felt a stab of sharp pain at the thought. The very idea of an Ed without a book in his hands was painful, and to think that he _never_ would find his brother with his nose buried in a book again was frightening.

Al sighted and lay down next to his brother, slung an arm over his chest and buried his nose in Ed's neck. He just had to face it, he would have to find a way to restore Ed alone. He would have to step up and take the lead. He _would_ find a solution, no matter what it took, because _leaving_ Ed like this for the rest of his life, that wasn't even an option.

* * *

**AN:** More angst from Al, but this is kind of the bottom. From now on things will begin to get a little better. And if you wonder; yes, there will be a happy ending, I hate tragedies (I _know_ that real life generally doesn't do happy endings, but that's why I write fiction dammit!) Ed _will_ get back what he lost but, just as in the case with Al's body, it won't be easy.

And a cookie to MoonClaimed who pointed out that I have problems with my _has_ and _have_. As soon as I have figured out exactly how it _should_ be done I will correct the errors, I just have to beat the answer out of the dreadful monster known as "English grammar"... it may take a while... but I will do it!


	7. Awakening in darkness

Ed's POV

* * *

**Awakening in darkness**

His head _ached_. No, that wasn't true. His _mind_ ached. Ed swayed between dreams and conscious thoughts, almost drowning in the sea of knowledge that had been crammed in to his subconscious mind. He recognised the feeling, he had seen the Truth before, but this time it had been a different part of the Truth, and so much more had _stuck_. Last time he had gained knowledge about alchemy and about how the world worked, because that was what interested him. This time... This time it was as if every mundane grain of knowledge, every obscure little fact, that he had collected during his life had been coated in layer after layer of pure Truth, creating shimmering pearls in his mind. Pearls of knowledge, pearls of absolute truth and maybe even pearls of wisdom, although he wasn't that sure about the last one.

Ed made a serious attempt at keeping his fragile consciousness together but his mind was a swirling sea of memories, dreams, nightmares and the foreign presence of the Truth. He had been able to rise out of the world inside his mind enough to feel the weight of his body and the steady beat of his heart for a moment or two but he could never stay there for long. Soon the tidal wave of dreams would drag him down again, but at least he knew that he wasn't dead.

_No, I'm not dead. The bloody Gate did take just about everything but my life_, Ed thought in one of his clear moments, _I'm really alive_, he felt the surprise jolt trough him, _I'm alive and so is Al_, he continued with great relief, _It did work, Al is alive, it did work_... He wasn't sure how he knew that Al was alive, he just _did_, but he didn't question this insight. He and his brother had a mental bound, their very _souls_ were bound together and it was not just a figure of speech.

Years ago he had sacrificed his right arm to seal Al's soul, to bind it down to this world. He had thought that the blood-seal in Al's armour was the anchoring point, but his last tour trough the Truth had made him realise that it wasn't. The blood-seal kept Al's soul inside the _armour_ but it was Ed's blood, Ed's soul that anchored him to this world. Ed had clapped his hands and done a circle-less transmutation when he transmuted Al's soul, and as always when he transmuted without circles the array was in his mind, in his very _soul._ There was already a link created between their bodies, since they dissolved and was sent to the other side together during their failed human transmutation, and together with their link between souls the bound had made it possible for Al's body to survive inside the gate for four years since Ed did sleep and eat for both of them during all that time. This last encounter with the Gate had done nothing but strengthening their bound and now it was impossible for Ed to _not_ feel Alphonse's presence no mater where he was.

_Al was alive_. In his delirious state Ed could hold on to very few clear thoughts but he knew that Al was alive and that he was calm. Sad but still happy. _That's good._ If Al was calm that did mean that nothing dangerous was about to happen and Ed could relax, let his mind sort itself out and heal from the abuse the Truth had put it trough. Even better was that Al was moving around. _His body is working fine then_. Sometimes he could feel him leave him behind and walk some distance away, usually when he could feel a slight whisper, a faint glow, of an other presence, _Rose?_, but most of the time Al was so close that he almost could feel his body heat. _Not almost, I can feel it_.

One time Ed returned to his body long enough to feel someone breathing against his neck. Soft calm breaths from a sleeping person. _Al_, Ed thought fondly. After a while, _a minute? a month? an eternity?_ the sleeping mind next to his stirred slightly, the calm sleep disturbed by shadows of nightmares lurking at the edge of perception. _Al?_ Ed thought with a bit more urgency as his brothers mind plunged in to something that had to be a nightmare. Ed wanted to move, to touch Al, to soothe him and shake him out of the nightmare, just as when they had been kids, but his body didn't move. Ed's thoughts made no connection with his body. He could only helpless feel how Al whimpered miserably. _Al_, he thought sadly and tried to reach out with his mind, tried to bridge the endless gap between two souls. _Al..._ He whispered it in his mind again, aching with the need to somehow reach his little brother, and suddenly his thoughts flowed trough their mind-link, soft and warm as Al's breath. The nightmares melted away and Al sighted happily, rubbing against the sudden warmth as a content kitten. _Go to sleep Al_, Ed thought and smiled inside, before his own world of strange dreams once more claimed him.

Slowly Ed began to think clearly again. The scattered pieces of his psyche reassembled once more when the dream-world bit by bit slipped away. Finally Ed found himself firmly anchored inside his own skin, fully aware.

He felt drowsy but he sighted and yawned, tried to get his body back in working order again. He must have slept for a long time and he felt strange. He tried to move, but only his automail responded. _Weird_. It was dark, he tried to open his eyes but that didn't work either. _Weirder_. For a long moment his mind was nothing but blank confusion, but then the memories from the Gate came crashing back.

_Oh..._

The gate had taken his limbs, all four of them since Al had restored him before the transmutation, and it had taken his eyes too, and then something more...

_Ah..._

Envy had been dragged in to the transmutation and part of the price had been taken from the homunculus. That's why the Gate couldn't take everything from him. That's why it couldn't kill him, and it had made the gate-creatures furious. Wrath, hate and jealousy had radiated from them.

_What the hell..._

They had taken revenge on him. They couldn't take his life but they took as much as they could. His arms and legs, his eyes... and his ears... Ed remembered it now, they had robbed him of his senses, tried to lock him up inside a prison of flesh. _I can't walk, I can't touch, I can't see, I can't hear_. The realization pressed down like a lead weight on his mind, dull, heavy and slowly poisonous. For a moment, longer than he would ever admit even to himself, he panicked. His breath speed up, hyperventilating. His mind trashed like a caged animal, trapped inside invisible walls. He flared out with his automail arm, the thud of it hitting the bed rattled trough his body, but in the next instance warm hands was on his chest, shaking him, soothing him, breaking the panic.

_Al_, he realised, and the panic was put out just as fast as it had flared up. Tense muscles relaxed and he sunk back on the bed. For a moment he felt empty, with a hint of confusion. Al's hands stroke his chest, massaging his flesh shoulder, pulling his bangs out of his face. He could feel it, but there was something more. He knew that it was _Al_, knew that he was kneeling down beside him, murmuring soothing nonsense. He could feel it, sense it, perceive it, just like he knew that Rose was in the room. She had came running when Al called her, stopped when she could see him and then taken a few steps closer before she remained standing.

He _knew_ this, but how was it possible? His world should be black, it _was_ black because he couldn't see at all, but still... There was something, something new yet vaguely familiar. It felt like he was surrounded by fog, thick white fog and the only thing clear was Al. His little brothers shape was burning bright in his minds eye while Rose was more of an amorphous glowing cloud, but that wasn't the end of it... At the edge of his perception he sensed other presences, other minds, other _lives_. What _was_ this? Ed searched for the answer, flipped trough years of experiences.

_Chi._

The single word shimmered in lonely splendour and then the knowledge went nova his mind. _The ability to sense chi, the sixth sense_. He had read about the subject while they searched for the Philosophers Stone. It had fascinated him. Chi was a term that originated in Xing, but it hadn't taken Ed long to realise that what the text described was a more sensitive form of what Ed would call _the sixth sense_ or _instinct_. He relied way to much on this sixth sense every time he fought to doubt that it existed and had been glad that he had found a more fitting word for it, but he hadn't had the time to truly study the possibilities of chi. Now, when the knowledge from the Truth unfolded in his mind, he realised that what he had read about chi was just the tip of the iceberg. _No, it was the __**chip**__ of the iceberg_. There was so much potential in this new sense, if he just could learn how to master it...

* * *

**AN:** Finally! I got to write something from Ed's POV and ad some minor fluff in all the angst. Hands up everyone that went _aww_ when Ed chased away Al's nightmares (I did). So, this is were the supernatural part begins to show. I will try to keep things less _fantasy_ and more _supernatural_ to fit the steam punk feel of the FMA world.

And no, the Gate didn't take Ed's _ears_, it took the stuff inside, the cochlea, but that didn't flow that well when I wrote it.

I have decided to correct my spelling and grammar mistakes when I sees them (or someone points them out) but I don't have the patience to go back and go over earlier chapters with a microscope. If someone volunteers to do it for me just send me a note (one can always hope, right?)


	8. Light in the silence

Al's POV

* * *

**Light in the silence**

"Should I add the garlic now or later Grandma?", Alphonse asked while he stirred the big pot of thick soup. Grandma Zanno took her eyes from the zucchinis she was dicing and thought for a moment.

"Yes, take three cloves, peel them and then crush them before you add them to the soup", the old woman instructed and turned back to her vegetables.

"Okay", Al said and set out to follow the orders. He liked cooking with Zanno, the woman was Jacobs mother-in-law and reminded him a bit of Aunt Pinako. They had the same sort of no-nonsense attitude, even though Zanno was tall, broad shouldered for a woman and had lean muscles under her soft wrinkled skin. The woman did run sort of a primitive boardinghouse in the refugee settlement and had allowed them to stay, hidden them and given them food for three days now, without accepting any kind of payment and because of this Al had decided that he would try to help her out as much as possible while they were there. Besides, the lovely fumes from the food distracted Al from his worried thoughts like nothing else could.

When he had finished his task Al stepped back and leaned against the wall to get out of the way while he let his eyes wander over the room. The building was something between a big shed or a small barrack and was built out of odd bits and pieces of whatever material the constructor had got his hands on, but you could see that whoever built it did know a good deal about carpentry. The roof had no leaks, the walls kept the cold winds out and the warmth inside despite the unusual building material. Just inside the door there was an area with bare earth floor that served as a kitchen. There was a fireplace at the floor where you could cook over open fire, but along the wall someone had used bricks and some scrap metal to build something resembling a real stove. Now it was an almost perfect wood stove since Al had fixed it up with his alchemy. There was also a sink, some worktables and, on the other side, benches and a long table. Further in they had used old loading pallets covered with a layer of planks to create a slightly elevated floor divided in two by a walkway in the middle. The planks were covered by rugs and rag-carpets and along the walls two stacks of mattresses were piled during the day. In the evening Zanno pulled a number of patch-work-draperies around each of the platforms to create two separate rooms and everyone grabber their mattress, spread out on the floor and went to sleep, women on one side, men on the other.

It was a primitive housing, people living here usually had one-day jobs but couldn't or didn't want to afford renting a room the normal way, but Al had to admit that it was practical and surprisingly comfortable. It was a bit like living in a tent but without most of the downsides of tent-life, and it was definitely more homely than the military dorms or cheep hostels were he and his brother usually stayed. Al liked it here, and it had the added bonus that his brother was very well hidden.

Very well indeed, because who would imagine that you could find the infamous Fullmetal Alchemist in a settlement with refugees from Lior and Ishbal? Especially since the military now tried to blame both the earlier uproar in Lior and the massacre on him, but Rose and Jacob had done a good job during the days Ed and Al had spent sleeping. Without revealing that the Fullmetal alchemist was in fact hiding out among them Rose had gone out and told the rumourmongers the truth about what had happened in Lior. A lot of people recognised her as the Holy Mother and listened to her when she repeated the story about Father Cornellio's fraud, how he had tricked her, promised her something he never could do and then forced her to put a gun against Ed and Al, which had been the end of his regime. Then she told them about Scar and his plan, about how he had drawn the transmutation circle, how Ed had tried to talk him out of it but then resigned to help with the evacuation of Lior, how Ed then had went back to the city, tried to stop the soldiers from marching in and how the military now tried to put the blame on him.

The story went over surprisingly well among the refugees. People _wanted_ to believe that the Peoples Alchemist was innocent and the fact that the military was hunting him were seen as a prof of this. Even the Ishbalans seemed inclined to make an exception for the Elric brothers in their usual antipathy of alchemists, although that was mostly thanks to Alphonse. Word had got out about how he had sided with Scar in order to rescue two kidnapped Ishbalan children, and brought his brother with him in the end. Of course there were some people that was of a less favourable mindset, but they were the minority.

A thump from the door interrupted Al's thoughts and Rose came in, her hair slightly damp and a towel slung over her neck. There was a bathroom and a couple of showers in one of the old station buildings, originally intended for the workers but now a blessing for the refugees. Her child was also bundled up in a towel until nothing but a tuft of dark hair could be seen, but the delighted baby-laughter brightened the whole room.

"He really likes water doesn't he?", Al said with a smile.

"He is born in a dessert city, it's in his blood", Rose answered and shifted the towel until her baby's face peeked out, "Will you hold him for a moment?", she asked and gestured towards Al.

"Of course", Al said and took the child that was handed to him, smiling down at the round face and dark violet eyes, earning himself a new laugh, "Have you decided what name you will give him yet?", he asked. Rose haltered and thought for a moment.

"Yes", she said slowly and then continued to brush out the tangles from her dark hair, "I have thought about it", her expression became sombre but thoughtful, "In Lior there is an old tradition to honour the dead by giving their name to the living and that way make sure their memory lives on for an other generation", she explained while slowly moving the brush trough her hair, "I thought about my father first, but then... I think I will name him Cain", she said.

"Cain", Al repeated and stroke the child's cheek with his thumb, "The name of someone you loved, that's a good name", he said and gave her a soft smile. Rose brightened up a bit but she still had sad eyes when she answered.

"Yes, it's a good name", she said, "and if things had been different, then Cain would had been his father"

"Humm", Zanno interrupted from behind her cooking, "Is that what you will tell him, girl? That Cain is his father?", the old woman asked and eyed Rose up and down, scrutinizing her with piercing but not unfriendly eyes. Rose paled a few shades and clenched her jaws.

"I... I'm not sure", she said, "I will have to think about it. I need time."

"Wise girl", Zanno nodded, "It's good that you doesn't either fall over yourself to deny that anything is wrong or lashes out in hate. You are strong girl, you will be all right. In time, and with help from your friends", she said and glanced at Al. Rose continued to brush her already smooth hair and lowered her gaze. It was Al who finally voiced the question she couldn't ask.

"How do you know that?", Al asked softly and watched the old woman.

"Because", Zanno answered towards Rose, "Because_ I_ was" Roses eyes widened and she lifted hear head to stare at the old woman. In that moment Al could see a fraction of the pain she kept inside herself.

"Don't think that you're the only one that has fallen pray for a woman's curse during wartime", Zanno said a bit gruffly but with warmth, "Amestris has been in war since the day it was formed. I grew up in the border area down south. There was a rebel group that had our town as base, and then the military marched in. My father and brothers were killed, me and my mother survived, but not unscratched as you understands", she explained and went back to stirring the soup, "But we survived. As long as there is life things can get better, and the memories gets easier to bear in time girl. Especially when you gets new memories to stack on top of them." There was a long silence while Rose clenched the brush in her hands, looking like she was on the verge of tears, but then she took a deep breath and relaxed.

"Thank you Grandma. I will try to remember that", she said in a low voice before she gave Al a bleak smile and took back Cain, "I better get some clothes for him", she mumbled and walked away. Al saw her open the locked chest where she kept her few belongings before she pulled out one of the draperies to change behind.

"Don't worry boy, she will be all right", Zanno said when she saw Al's worried face, "She just needs a lot of time and some help from her friends. Just like you and your brother", she smiled, "Take an advise from an old woman. Rose cares about you two, she wants to take care of you. Let her do that. She needs to feel that she is needed, she needs to have something to take her minds away from the memories, and you and your brother could need someone to take care of you right now."

"Yes, you're right. About both of us", Al said, "I mean, _I'm_ fine, just a bit skinny, but brother..."

There was a _clack_ when Zanno put down the metal ladle and eyed Al with great intensity.

"Humm, your brother is in bad shape, but you isn't much better of either", she said and continued before Al had time to protest, "First of all, you are not 'a bit skinny', you are famished, but you will come around in time. Your body will be fine, but what about your mind? I don't claim that I understands anything about alchemy, but if I has got it right from what you and Rose has told me, then your brother is like he is because he saved you. Am I wrong?"

"No, you're right. Brother saved me", Al said in a low voice, guilt roiling trough him, "He always does..."

"But the price was quit high, and now you feel guilty", Zanno concluded with great accuracy.

"Yes, I guess that I feel guilty, but most of all I'm afraid. I have had time to think you see, and I know that even if the price Brother paid was high it still shouldn't have been enough for what he did", Al took a deep breath and searched the woman's eyes, "Zanno, he should have died, he really should", he explained and the seriousness in his voice sent shivers along the old woman's spine.

_I'm sure, _Al thought,_ why didn't I understand it before. There is no way he could have paid 'just' his limbs and eyes for getting my mind, body and soul back. I was dead, or at least on my way towards death when he brought me back. Something was taken from Envy too, at least that's what I hope, but still_...

"He got of _lightly_, he should have died, but now he doesn't wake up and I cant help but worry, because...", Al was close to tears now and the panic began to shine trough when he turned to the old woman almost begging, "because the Gate, it cant take _anything_ as payment and Brother won't wake up... What if... What if it took something else from him? What if it took his soul! It could do that you know, it would be _easy_ for the Gate to do that", he explained and didn't know what to do with himself. Zanno didn't have any answer for him, but after a long life and three children she knew what to do with a distressed child.

"Come here", she said and collected Al in a warm embrace, "Shush, calm down", she mumbled, rocking him back and forth like all mothers do, "It's nothing you can do about it if that's the problem. All you can do is wait, right? And you won't do your brother a favour by falling to pieces while he isn't here to reassure you", she continued and held Al close. Al tried to hold his composure for a moment, but then he hugged her back with desperate strength and cried silent tears in her garlic smelling shirt.

They stood like that for a long time and Al had begun to calm down when suddenly a wave of panic that wasn't his own broke against his mind. Al's head snapped around and he stared at the inner end of the room, against the far end wall where the area was divided in two. Half the area was made up of a cupboard were Zanno stored food, lamp oil and other supplies. The other half was a secluded alcove, divided from the rest of the room by a folding wall, where Al and his bother had spent most of their time sleeping. It was from there the feeling emanated.

"Brother!", Al called out and quickly made his way trough the room.

When Al entered the alcove Ed was trashing on the bed. His back was arched, every muscle tense, the automail flaring around blindly and his breath fast and uneven.

"Brother!", Al cried again and immediately fell on his knees next to him and put his hands on his chest, completely ignoring the automail arm that could hit him in any moment. _He is panicking_, Al realised,_ he woke up and doesn't know what's wrong... or he knows __**exactly**__ what's wrong and can't stand it._

"Brother", Al begged and stroke Ed's chest, massaging his shoulder, trying to get trough his panic, "Brother calm down, it's me, calm down, it's okay now, calm down...", Al repeated the calming nonsense over and over again. Then, suddenly, something broke the spell and Ed stilled, relaxed and sunk back on the bed.

At first his face was blank with only the last traces of panic, but then it gave way to confusion, a confusion that only deepened when a frown crossed his features. He was thinking intensely for a long moment, but then he appeared to have come to an conclusion because he relaxed once more. He tilted his head slightly, looking at Al with eyes he didn't have anymore.

"Al?", he asked in a hoarse voice that cracked from both emotions and unuse. Al's breath stopped for a moment and he held Ed's shoulder in a death grip.

"Yes Brother, I'm here", he managed to say, pure happiness and intense sorrow fighting for supremacy in his mind.

"Al", Ed repeated in a stronger voice, and in the next instance Al was pulled down in a rough one-armed hug, "_Al_", Ed whispered and buried his nose in Al's long hair, inhaling a scent he hadn't smelled in years.

"_Yes, I'm here_", Al whispered back and felt tears trail their way down his cheeks, but it was tears of happiness. Ed's hand patted over his back and then pulled him further up on top of him. Al winced slightly at the almost bruising touches but he didn't complain. He knew that Ed's automail had pressure sensors under each of the different plates, but the force had to be rather big before they registered anything. Instead he sprawled out on top of Ed, allowing him to feel with his body what his hand couldn't sense. Ed lay still for a moment, just silent hugging him closer, but then he made a face. His hand moved down to Al's lover back, pressing down and making Al's protruding hipbones dig in to Ed's stomach.

"You're so thin", Ed said and released the pressure, "You weight close to nothing", he continued with sorrow and Al could almost hear the following thought: _any longer before we got your body back and it might have been too late..._

"Don't worry about that Brother, I just has to eat a lot and I'll be fine", Al said and moved his head slightly, causing Ed to inhale a lock of his hair when he opened his mouth to retort. Ed coughed and spluttered, trying to rid himself of the offending hair.

"And you have long hair", he commented, slightly disgruntled. Al felt a smile tug at his lips and he shook of stifled laughter.

"Yes, it's down to my waist", he said with obvious mirth.

"And they say that _my_ hair is girlish", Ed said and Al just laughed, resting his head at the side of Ed's face, finally letting go of a tension he hadn't been aware of. His brother was awake and was his normal overprotective, grouchy, lovely self, mind and soul unharmed despite the dire state of his body.

They lay like that in silence for a while. Both enjoying the simple fact that they were alive and alive together. Then Ed's hand lightly, as carefully as possible, grasped the hair in Al's neck and tilted his head slightly before he feather light pressed his lips against Al's cheek. At first the gesture startled Al, but then he realised what Ed was doing and held still while his brother traced the lines of his face with his lips and the tip of his nose, sensing with his lips what his eyes couldn't see. Finally Ed pulled back with a sad look.

"I wish I could see your face", he sighted. Al almost felt his heart break at the longing look in his brothers face.

"I wish that too", Al said, "But you _will_ see it Brother. I will get it back to you, I promise. You will see me in time", he promised, meaning every word.

"Yes, _we_ will get it back", Ed said, "That Gate owes me. Big time", he continued with determination written in his face, "But Al, don't do anything stupid or rash. We have time now. I won't suddenly die because my soul loses contact with my body, I'm not slowly starving to death, and I'm not a Philosophers Stone hunted by everybody and their aunt. We have time to figure something out."

"Don't worry. Acting rashly and doing stupid things are _your_ job, remember?", Al pointed out and Ed appeared to have a hard time deciding whether he should look annoyed or laugh.

"Uh, yea, I remember, but I doubt that I will be doing much of anything for a while, don't you think?", Ed retorted in his usual manner. It was so normal and yet so at odds with the serious situation that Al felt reality hit him like a flood of ice-water and he drew back with a gasp. A shipload full of feelings that had been kept at bay by the all encompassing fear of that Ed would never wake up came tumbling back.

No, Ed wouldn't do much at his own in the near future. He was acting thought, but what could he do? His brother had more or less lost any independence he had had. He had Ed back, but still it wasn't the Ed he knew.

Al felt completely lost, betrayed by the world, tricked by destiny. _This is not how it was supposed to be!_ He was afraid, confused, felt guilty and was angry. _Gah!_ What was he supposed to do?! And how the hell could Ed take it so well!? Al was bristly with bottled up feelings, he had to do something and he suddenly stood up and began to pace back and forth in the small room. Trying to rid himself of the unused energy and handle the unfamiliar things his body did to his state of mind.

"Al, get back here", Ed said when Al rolled of him and disappeared. Abruptly Al's guilt turned in to irrational rage. He couldn't take this any more!

"This is not how it was supposed to happen!", he howled, "And how can you take it so well?!"

"Al! I can't hear you, get back here", Ed pleaded with an irritated edge, concentrated on pinpointing Al's presence.

"It's not fair! Nothing is fair! What should I do! What can I do! _I don't know what to do Brother!_", Al continued his outburst.

"Stop pacing around and get over here", Ed continued but spoke for deaf ears, "I _know_ you are upset, but I can't hear you dammit!", he said and stretched his newly discovered senses to their limits, but to no avail.

"Everything is just so _wrong_! We have worked so hard for years now. No, _you_ have worked so hard, and still everything just gets _worse_!", Al almost cried now, "I'm fine now, but you are so... so...", he gestured vaguely, not finding the right word, "..busted up!", he settled for, "And it is _my_ fault. Don't you hate me Brother? You should hate me!", he continued in an odd echo of the brother he just was screaming at.

"Rose!", Ed called, giving up on his agitated sibling, "You are there, aren't you? Tell my brother to get his ass over here so that I can speak with him."

Rose startled with the sudden mentioning of her name. She had been standing in the doorway silent witnessing the drama but now she took a hesitant step forward, not overly pleased with the prospect of getting in the crossfire of a sibling brawl, but Ed needed some help right now.

"Al, your brother wants you to listen to him", she said, and when that got no reaction she walked over and grabbed Al's elbow, "You should listen to him", she said and gave him a disappointed look. Al faltered and shrugged, still riled up.

"Fine", he said, "Let's talk Brother"

No answer from Ed. Al took a deep breath and composed himself.

"I... Sorry about the screaming", he added a bit sheepish.

Still no answer from his brother.

Huffing Al walked over and went down beside Ed, who snagged his hand with surprising precision and pressed it against his chest. Al's temper flared up again.

"Why won't you answer me? Brother!", he said with rising urgency.

"I can't", Ed stated simply.

"Why can't you?! If this is one of your crazy fix ideas again I'm gonna..."

"Because I'm deaf!", Ed interrupted, effectively shutting Al up. The air went out of Al's ranting.

"Deaf?", he said in complete confusion.

"Yes, deaf. I can't hear anything", Ed confirmed, "The Gate took the stuff inside my ears too", he explained, "It was kind of pissed at me." Al gasped as a goldfish, but couldn't formulate a coherent thought.

"But how can you answer when I talk", he finally managed to produce.

"Our mind-link", Ed explained, "It makes it possible to 'hear' you speak without actually hearing you. Can't you feel it?"

"Oh...", was all Al could say at first, _our mind-link, it has got stronger_, and then he felt it, the presence of Ed's mind against his own. It didn't feel invasive or annoying or anything, it was just a steady presence, like a friendly hand resting on your shoulder.

"So, you can hear me just like normal?", he asked.

"Not exactly", Ed said and shook his head slightly in an indecisive gesture, "When you are close and speaks clearly like now it's like normal speech, but when you walks away or tries to say too much at the same time I loses contact. It just gets a obscure mess of different... thoughts? Half formed sentences? Concepts of speech? I'm not sure what to call them."

"Oh", Al said again and then fell silent. He really needed a moment to get his bearings again. _Brother is deaf too_, he thought, turning the knowledge over in his head, trying to come to terms with this new revelation. _That cursed Gate, it took away two, almost three of his senses!_ Al boiled with sudden anger,_ If it wasn't for our mind-link he wouldn't have been able to communicate at all. He would have been trapped inside his own skin_. _At least __**I **__could interact freely with the world when I was in the armour._

"So...", Al said slowly when he had collected his thoughts, "You can hear me, but nothing else. Or can you hear other people too?", he asked.

"No idea", Ed laughed, "I discovered this ability about five minutes ago, I haven't really had a chance to learn it's limits yet"

"Well, then I suppose that we have to do some experiments", Al said and turned to Rose, "Can you come over her an try to speak with Brother?", he asked the young woman but then he cut off his next sentence before it even started. Al's eyes narrowed in intense thought, "Wait... Brother, how could you know that Rose was here? Did you guess?"

"No, I didn't guess. I knew she was here", Ed said, "and right now she is _there_", he continued and pointed at Rose with his automail arm. Both Al and Rose was speechless for a moment. They just silently watched the pointing metal hand that had zoomed in on Rose just as sure as a compass needle turns to north.

"How is _that_ possible?", Al asked with wide eyes, Ed had nothing but surprises for them today.

"I can sense her chi", Ed explained, "You remember that we read about chi some time ago? And we realised that we both could sense chi at a unconscious level, that that explained how our battle reflexes could be so sharp?"

"Yes, but we never managed to consciously feel chi, as the Xingenese books said was possible", Al answered curiously.

"Right, but when I passed trough the Gate again I got a lot of knowledge about different things, and among them chi", Ed said, "I'm aware of chi now, I can really feel it"

"So you got something from the Gate too", Al was thoughtful.

"Yes, I saw the Truth again", Ed said, but then thought for a moment, "Al did you see the Truth?"

"The Truth?", Al sounded confused, but then it seemed to click, "Oh, _the Truth_...", he said.

"Yea, but lets start from the beginning now", Ed continued when he had confirmed his hunch, "First of all: do you remember that you saw the Truth back when you lost your body? You should have, but you obviously lost your memory of it."

"That's it! I remember, I got the memory back together with my body, I saw it...", Al trailed of and shuddered at the memory of how he lost his body, how it was taken by the Gate and how the endless knowledge of the Truth was pressed trough his brain, "I remember...", he mumbled quite sombre, but then he lived up again, "And Brother, I can transmute without circles now, just like you and Sensei. I did it without even thinking, the knowledge was just _there_ when I woke up."

"That's great Al", Ed smiled at Al's enthusiasm, "That's how it was for me too, I just knew. It's because of the Truth. I saw it when we did the human transmutation, but then I saw it again when I transmuted your soul to the armour", he explained, "and now I saw the Truth again when I did the human transmutation to get you back. Did you too see the Truth again Al?"

"No, I only saw it once", Al said slowly while he went trough whet he had learned, this Truth-thing did explain how Ed sometimes just knew a lot of things that Al was sure that they never had studied, and now Al had some of this weird knowledge too.

"Humm, is that so, you didn't see it this time, but that's probably since you never passed _trough_ the Gate when the armour disappeared. I just got you out from it", Ed thought out loud but then mentally shook himself, "Anyway, what I was trying to say is that the Truth crammed a lot of knowledge in to my mind, that's why I didn't wake up at once, and some of that knowledge was about chi and minds and stuff like that. I think there are lots of things one can do and feel with ones mind if you just know how."

"So that's how you learned to feel chi", Al said, "But how much do you actually feel?"

"Not very much, yet", Ed said, "I hope that I can be better at this, but right now I sort of see you as a glowing shape while Rose are more of a glowing cloud in a human form, but I can feel other things too. There are a lot of living things outside", he waved in an non-specific direction, "but there are also something much closer", Ed pointed at the kitten, "Something smaller, something that isn't human, some sort of animal...", he suddenly stopped mid-sentence, made a strange face and then laughed, "Seriously Al", he sighted with a grin, "I guess I should have figured. Leave you alone for more than an hour and you picks up a kitten"

"Oh... Hmm, I kind of did...", Al said in a small and rather embarrassed voice, but then he got more serious, "I'm sorry Brother, I shouldn't have brought it here. I know that we can't keep it, I will try to find a new home for it"

"No Al, it's okay. You can keep it", Ed interrupted.

"Really? I can keep it?", Al said in breathless surprise, "But why now and not before Brother?"

"Because earlier we was travelling all the time, now I need new automail and that means that we will stay at the Rockbell house for at least a year. After that I don't know for sure, it depends on how well this chi thing works, but you can keep the cat for now", Ed explained.

"Thank you Brother! I promise that I will take good care of it", Al said with obvious enthusiasm and gave his brother a quick hug. Ed smiled and patted Al's back but then a new thought hit Al and he straightened up while his happiness drained away, "Oh, you will have to do automail surgery again..."

"Yea...", Ed's answer was completely toneless.

"That's going to hurt Brother", Al said and there was a hint of dread in his voice.

"Trust me, I know that", Ed pointed out with a hollow laughter, "but I'm going to go trough with it. There is no way I'm staying like this, flopping around like a fish on dry land. I want to walk again Al"

"Of course, but Brother, don't push yourself too hard this time", Al pleaded, "It was dreadful last time, and you have other problems too now"

"Yes, yes, I know", Ed sighted, "But I'm not going to just lay down and take this Al, the Gate owes me a thing or two and there are other things too...", Ed got a very thoughtful expression, "_So much to do..._", he mumbled and Al was barely able to make out the worlds, but then Ed snapped out of it, "Anyway, where are we? What has happened? Do you have any plans for what to do next?", he asked and Al spent some time to get Ed up to date with everything.

It was such an relief to be able to speak with his brother again. Al was almost ashamed over himself when he realised how lost he had been without Ed. He had tried to take command and keep on top of things but he hadn't been able to plan anything and had ended up relying completely on the help of others. Not that it was anything wrong with relying on Rose, Jacob and Zanno, but Ed would never have allowed them to do the planing and thinking for him. Al on the other hand had felt so lost and not until now did the world fall back in to place. It was pathetic really. Ed was severely wounded, blind, deaf and unable to walk, but still Al clung on to him as a shipwrecked to his life jacket. The fact that Ed finally had woke up somehow made him feel protected and safe when it should be the other way around. _Am I really that weak_, Al questioned himself, _or is it just Brother that are unnaturally strong?_

Soon they had cowered everything that had happened and Al had repeated what he had learned from Rose who had been their ear out in the city. Ed was eager to learn more about what had happened with the military, the rumours talked about a big fight yesterday and claimed that the Führer was dead but no one knew anything for sure yet. Al was just as determined to learn more about this as his brother, but since neither of them could do much at the moment he forced himself to put a stop to Ed's speculations.

"Brother, calm down", he said and pushed Ed back down since he had managed to sit up in order to gesticulate wildly while he talked, "We can't do much except wait for Rose to hear something new, and you need to concentrate all your strength on recovering."

"Al, I have spent three days sleeping, I don't need any more rest!", Ed protested.

"No, maybe not rest", Al said in his most patient tone, "but you _have_ been sleeping for three days straight. You need to drink and get something to eat", he pointed out.

"Eat?", Ed said as if the thought never crossed his mind but then he haltered, "I'm not hungry", he claimed but was immediately contradicted by his growling stomach.

"U-hu, not hungry Brother", Al said and rolled his eyes, Ed was so damn childish sometimes, "Well, maybe _you_ isn't hungry, but I know that _I_ am. I'm the one that's famished you know", he pointed out and didn't hesitate to put in a slight jab at Ed's guilt to get his stubborn brother to come to his senses.

"Oh, sorry Al. I forgot that", Ed immediately stopped his sulking but then he sighted, "Well fine then, lets eat", he grumbled.

"Well, you will have to wait with the food", Al said, "You can have something to drink right now, but the dinner isn't ready for another hour or so"

"An hour?!", Ed exclaimed, "But I'm starving Al", he whined.

"Seriously Brother", Al sighted, trust Ed to revert back to a four-year-old when food was the topic, "I can get water or some sweet tea. What do you want?"

"Oh, I guess I will live for an other hour without food, but tea would be nice", Ed admitted.

"Tea it is then", Al said and got to his feet, "But you will have to drink some water too", he added before he left. Ed just grumbled something as an reply and Al smiled. Really, the world was finally beginning to spin the right way again. _Brother may be blind and even deaf but he has already found a way to break out of the black and soundless world that should surround him. It's much better than I feared, it's going to be thought but maybe there is some light in the silence._

And with that thought Al went about to make some tea, savouring the peaceful moment. Soon enough he would have a new argument on his hands when his proud brother realised that Al would have to feed him since the automail lacked the fine perception he would have needed to do it himself when he couldn't see what he was doing. _Oh well, one battle at the time_, Al thought and shook his head with a smile.

* * *

**AN:** Welcome to the emotional roller-coaster. _Phew_, this chapter was hard to write. It's so strange to have Al being all angry and irrational, but I blame it on the hormones he suddenly has to handle, and Ed is unnaturally cuddly, but he _has_ to hug people to feel anything now and this is _Al_, and an Al that just got his body back... I think that it's not _that_ OOC given the circumstances.

I always love to write the interaction between Ed and Al by the way. They goes from serious, to bickering, to fluff, to ridiculous and back to serious again in a few sentences.

I'm sorry that it took me so long to get this written but something called real life intervened, and will keep doing so. I will probably not be able to write very much until my exams and the whole Christmas-thing is over with so don't get your hopes up, but I'm not dropping this story. In fact, one of the reasons why this chapter took me so long was that I finally sat down and re-watched the last ten or so episodes of the anime in order to plan out the plot in more detail.


	9. Call for help

Izumi's POV

* * *

**Call for help**

Izumi put the receiver back on the phone and took a deep breath. She had spent the last twenty minutes listening, arguing and screaming but she really wasn't sure what she felt. Anger? Relief? Sorrow? Surprise? Pride? Disappointment? Probably all of that.

_My idiot apprentices, you really messed up this time didn't you? And still, you did so much better than anyone else could have done, I'm sure of that._ Al hadn't been very clear about the details, he didn't want to tell her all of it over the phone, but she still had got a pretty good idea about how dire the situation had been before they still somehow managed to worm themselves out of it alive.

And Edward was alive. Terribly wounded but alive.

She hadn't expected that. Because _he_ hadn't expected that. She still remembered how they had parted outside Dante's house, Ed leaving to get Alphonse back. _Good luck and see you again_, that was what she had said, even if her actual words had been different. Ed had heard what she really meant behind her harsh tone, as she knew he would, but then he had turned around and given her that false and sincere and stupid and unimaginable brave smile before he answered. _No, this is goodbye._ That was all he had said, with sadness and determination in his eyes. And then she knew.

She had let him go. Even though she had known that he most likely never would come back, she had let him go.

Her heart had ached when she saw him disappear and part of her wanted to rush after him, follow him and protect them. Protect the two boys that was and wasn't her children, but she wasn't their mother. She was their teacher and as every teacher she had to let them go, had to let them fly on their own and just hope that her teachings had been enough.

There was anger in her heart too and that made it easier to let go. They had defied hear teachings when they tried to bring back the dead, when they choose to ignore everything she had taught them. She had forgiven them for that. How could she not, when she had done the same mistake herself? But they had still forfeited their right to be her apprentices when they choose to go their own way.

Izumi sighted and leaned back against the wall. She massaged her head and allowed herself to look tired now when no one did see her, and she was tired. Ed and Al always made her tired, in the best way possible. She returned to the memories.

_And they did keep going their own way_, she concluded,_ kept making decisions of their own, didn't listen to what I said, but that is all right. It was a choice they made and I accept that, even if it still makes me angry_. They had stepped out of her shadow, her protection, to stand on their own, just as Ed had left his childhood behind when he accepted that damn silver watch, and they had to take the consequences of that choice. Had to take responsibility for their actions, and they did. That was what made her heart swell with pride when she let him go, that's why she _had_ to let him go.

Edward had grown up. Despite all his flaws and childish actions, despite his naivety and stubbornness, he had grown up in one important way. He had learned something that many adults never did and because of this she couldn't hold him back. He had a meeting with his destiny, something that was his to face and his alone, and she couldn't interfere. _He is taking responsibility._

She knew that he would get Alphonse back, at any cost. Knew that he wouldn't just get him free, no, he would get Al's body back too. Edward wouldn't settle for less this time. He was ready to pay the price, and he was ready to fight. She knew that it was a task that might be too big for him, for any human, but she still had faith in her apprentices. Edward would find Alphonse, so much was clear, and together they might be able to do it. Because somehow, along the way, they had grown stronger. Stronger than she had ever been. Strong enough to take responsibility for their mistakes. Strong enough to confront their sin.

_And my sin too._

That was what scared her, they wouldn't just face their own sin, but also the sins of so many other people. It was unfair, they had to clean up a mess that they hadn't been the cause of and she wished that she could have helped them with that. But life wasn't fair.

Still, she had tried her best. After she had heard about Lior she had gone to Central to do what she could. To help carrying the burden and make sure that at least the military didn't give them any problems. The army was just humans after all, nothing she couldn't handle, and she would make that Mustang's life a living hell if he didn't help Ed as he had promised.

She had met Ed again in Central but had been forced to send him away on his own once more, cursing her own weakness. She felt so much like their mother but she had to stand on the sidelines as a teacher because she was too weak to protect them as a mother, too weak to fight when her children needed her. It was the price for her sin. The Gate had taken away her ability to be a mother, in more than one sense. She couldn't bear a child anymore since those parts of her had been taken, but there was more. A constant weakness, a blood spewing illness kept her from being the protector that she wanted, made a mockery of her hard earned strength since it no longer was reliable. She had to settle for teacher and just hope that her students could grow on their own, could defend themselves since she couldn't do it for them. That was what she had tried to teach them, to stand on their own, without the support or protection of others.

She had been a harsh teacher and maybe she had gone a bit too far, had made them too independent, made them shun from the help of others, but she had thought that they would need it. Two lone boys in a hostile world. Two lone boys with too much intelligence and energy to live calm lives. She had expected them to leave Rizenbool sooner or later, to make a name for themselves and then they would need to be strong. But she hadn't expected them to need that strength so soon and in such a literal way.

She laughed in her empty bedroom, a short ironic bark of a laughter.

The Fullmetal alchemist, Ed had gone and made himself a bloody dog, taken the cursed silver watch and bound his life to the military. She was furious of course. _Stupid bloody kid, so damn bright and yet so stupid. Always so sharp that he cuts himself_. She hated the army, the military that ruled the country and pulled them in to war after war, but that wasn't the only reason that she had beat him black and blue when she saw the silver chain hanging from his pocket.

She had heard about him ever since the day he had taken the exam of course. _Did they really think that I wouldn't find out? Was they really that short-sighted?_ And it wasn't hard to follow Ed's travels from a distance, and trough Ed you could follow Al since they always stayed together. _At least they always had each other, but still, that stupid kid._

The Fullmetal alchemist was anything but discreet and she had sighted and fumed over the headlines more than once. _Why the hell does he have to be so damn theatrical about everything!_ She had seen how Ed's reputation had grown and dreaded for the future, because she had seen something he, in childish naivety, hadn't. It was simple. He had made himself too damn useful. A strong alchemist that could transmute without circles, an alchemist that despite his dramatic methods produced immediate results when he was given a mission, and the only State Alchemist that was loved by the people. The military would never let him go.

But still, despite the foolishness, she hadn't been able to suppress an odd feeling of pride when she heard the stories about the Peoples Alchemist or the Elric brothers. They were her students after all and it was the things she had taught them that made it possible for them to do what they did. Do what they did and survive.

They were stupid, thoughtless and got involved in things they should keep out of but in some ways they might be stronger than she had been. They lived after their beliefs. Ed was a dog of the military but with a single-minded determination that only a child could muster, a maddening stubbornness he was born with and a flexibility and elegance few adults possessed he still managed to use alchemy for the people, as she had taught them. He simply refused to be a State Alchemist in anything but the name, ignored the policy and rules of the army and somehow got away with it.

It wouldn't do in the long run, she knew. Sooner or later reality would catch up with them, but in the meantime they had managed to create a legend.

_Alchemists works for the people_, that was the philosophy that they all learned when they started with alchemy, and there _were_ lots of people that did use alchemy to help others. The whole chemical industry in Amestris was based on alchemy. Medicines, pheromones to draw vermin away from the crops, rare pigments, nerve-connections for automail and a thousand other small things were made by alchemy. All over the country there were people that knew one or two specialised arrays and used them in their work, but they didn't call themselves Alchemists. They were just seen as people that knew some alchemy.

Actual Alchemists with great skill, power and diversity was much more unusual and most of them were either academics that spent all their time researching between dusty books or State Alchemists in the army. There hadn't been a strong and well known alchemist working for the people in almost a hundred years. The State Alchemist program attracted all of the most talented ones nowadays. Alchemists for the people was a thing of the past, dearly remembered in stories and legends, but nothing that existed now.

At least not until the Elrics had entered the scene. They had breath life in to the old stories, and more, because none of those old alchemists had been as flamboyant and memorable as the Fullmetal Alchemist. Ed wouldn't be forgotten in a hurry.

Izumi had to admit that her apprentices had done a lot for the profession. After the war in Ishbal _alchemist_ had almost become synonym with _living weapon_ and alchemy had got a bad reputation. It still had, but Ed's careless rampage trough the country had provided people with an alternative image of an alchemist. Not a perfect image, not a very good image, but still something else than the other State Alchemist's shadow of blood and war.

Sometimes she envied them, despite all the hardships they had gone trough. Izumi had once left her own teacher, decided to go her own way, because she wanted to live among people and use her alchemy for the benefit of them all. For a time she had done just that. Travelled the country, living on her alchemy and helped people when she could, even if she never had attracted as much attention as her apprentices, but then she met her husband and settled down. Prepared to start a family.

That was were everything went wrong in her life. After the failed human transmutation she had lost her faith in alchemy, or maybe her faith in herself as an alchemist. She had learned a harsh lesson and resigned herself to live the rest of her, probably rather short, life as an ordinary housewife. Suffering from the price for her sin, carrying the guilt of what she had done to her child.

Then Edward and Alphonse had tumbled in to her life, an ironic trick of destiny, and she had lived up again. They had given her a purpose and identity when she needed it the most, and she had loved them and taught them as much as she could. But it hadn't been enough. She still regretted it, regretted that her own guilt and pride had kept her from telling them her own story. She had never told them about the human transmutation she had preformed, hadn't thought that it was necessary, but she had been wrong. Another cruel trick of destiny.

They had repeated her mistake, and suffered the consequences. Sometimes she could see herself reflected in Edward. Alphonse was of a different temperament altogether, but Edward seemed to follow in her footsteps more often than he should. He had somehow inherited her explosive temper and in his sorrow he had turned to alchemy, just as she had, but there were big differences too. The most important was that he had Al, and that endless love for his little brother that she never had seen the like of in anyone else.

If it wasn't for Alphonse then Ed would most likely have reacted just like her after the disaster. Got his automail in a more normal pace and then resigned to carry his sin in silence, but she doubted that he would have given up his alchemy. That was a difference between them.

Izumi and Alphonse loved the art of alchemy but for Ed it was something more. She had noticed it during their training. Edward did somehow have alchemy in his very blood, or even in his soul. He had an instinctive understanding, a great talent even before he had seen the Truth and now it was growing beyond the levels of normal alchemists. For Edward alchemy was as normal and natural as breathing. _And I never figured out why that was._

That strange relation to alchemy was probably the other key factor in why Ed's reaction to the failed human transmutation had differed so much from her own. He hadn't lost his faith in alchemy, he still believed that he could use it to make things right again and with Al's situation as a motivation he had decided to fight his destiny instead of giving in and accepting it.

She respected that, and it was something that had never occurred to her. She had just accepted her punishment in silence but Ed had lashed out and decided to atone for his sin by making things right again. He was walking forward, carrying his sins with him but still creating something new, all of it for Alphonse, always Alphonse. _And maybe some day he will be able to leave his sins behind him as well._

She sighted and began to pull out some clean clothes she would need on their journey, because Edward had succeeded. Alphonse had his body back and Ed could leave _his_ sins behind, but nothing was as simple as that. They still had a big mess to deal with and then Alphonse... _Yes Alphonse, he will take over the burden of sin and guilt if I know those brothers right_.

Izumi had known all along that Edward never truly tried to get his limbs back. If he got an opportunity he would take it, she guessed, but the true goal had been to restore Al. He had resigned to live his life with automail, and she figured that it was a sensible decision, even if she had a feeling that it had more to do with guilt than being sensible. Had those limbs been the only thing wrong with Ed when he had restored Al she guessed that he would have been able to convince his brother that he was fine with the automail, that they shouldn't risk everything just to get his limbs back, but now...

It startled her when it finally began to sink in how much Ed had lost. She had been preoccupied with the fact that he was alive, despite the odds, and not until now did Al's world truly register. _Both his arms, both his legs and his eyes_, that was the price he had paid.

Izumu sunk down on the bed when she saw the picture in her minds eye. _The Gate is cruel, it took so much and yet so little._ If Al's report was right then Ed was completely healthy except for the parts that were missing and that was incredibly cruel.

If Ed had died Al would have cried his heart out in sorrow and grief, but slowly healed with time. If Ed had been ill and slowly dying then it had been utterly terrible, and Al would drive himself crazy in an attempt to help, but there would have been an end in sight. Now Ed's health was strong, despite all that the Gate had taken, and that meant that he could live the rest of his natural life like that, healthy but still trapped in a body that was just half of what it should be. It maybe the worst alternative. Limbo, neither Heaven nor Hell but something in between

_But Alphonse will never leave things like this. He will try to find a way to get back what Ed has lost_. There was no doubt about this, Al was faithful. Love and guilt would drive him to the extremes just as it had driven his brother. _But this time I will be there. This time I will give advices and offer help and then maybe Al can avoid some of the pitfalls of his brother._

This was going to be hard work, she knew, but in some sense she was happy. They had asked for her help and she would give it. Although probably in a way that they hadn't expected, because she was a teacher after all and a good teacher should teach her students not what they _wanted_ to know but what they _needed_ to know. Izumi cracked her knuckles. Yes, her apprentices could need a good beating for that idiocy in Lior, and a few hugs for everything else. She turned around and walked out trough the door, feeling much better now when she had cleared the air and made her decision.

"Hubby," the master alchemist called, "Pack our bags again and tell Mason he has to look after the shop a while longer, we're going back to Central. My idiot apprentices needs us."

* * *

**AN:** Sorry, this chapter didn't push the story forward that much but it's the first time I write something from Izumi's POV and I have a hard time trying to get a grip of her character. Manga!Izumi is easy to understand, but anime!Izumi kind of contradict herself a lot and I'm trying to sort it out since she will appear quite frequently in this fic. So I did make up some back-story for her and then squeezed in some facts about what alchemy and alchemists that don't work for the State does since I've always sort of wondered about those things while watching FMA.

Some good news is that I have got a beta-reader. The lovely MoonClaimed is currently working her way trough my old chapters and correcting my English (thank you!) but I have been too lazy to update the chapters I have got back yet, should take my time doing that soon... Oh, and this chapter isn't beated yet, if you couldn't tell.

**And on a complete side-note**, there is something that hit me while re-watching the anime:

Am I the only one that have spotted a gigantic plot-hole in the anime? Like this: why didn't Dante just make the Philosophers Stone on her own? Why bother to have Ed or Scar making it? In the fifth laboratory the homunculi threatened Ed to get him to make it, but why? All the ingredients were ready, why not just get Dante to come over and do it? She obviously knew how to make one since she made a stone out of the city beneath Central hundreds of years ago. So why?

This is one of the reasons why I consider the manga to be _more_ canon then the anime. I love the mood in the anime, but the plot isn't as good as the manga and the movie... Well the movie was at least good for us fanfic-writers since it practically screams _rewrite!_


	10. Call your family

Winry's POV

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

**Call your family**

The phone rung.

Of course they had to get a phone call just when she was up to her elbows in minced meat, egg and spices for the dinner.

"Granny, can you take that!" Winry called but then remembered that Pinako was in the workshop using the grinder and wasn't able to just drop everything. Winry looked at the mess on her hands and cursed with great creativity. Growing up under Pinako's care had given her the correct vocabulary for a hardened automail mechanic, but then she quickly washed her hands and dried them on her work pants.

"I'm coming, I'm coming," she muttered, "This better be important," added she and made her way over to the phone.

"Rockbell Automail," she said with well practised cheerfulness.

"Hi, Winry it's me, Al," a familiar voice said in the other end.

Thirty minutes later she carefully put the receiver back in the cradle and stared empty at the phone. She took an unsteady step towards the kitchen but then leaned with her back against the wall. Slowly she slid down to the floor. Pieces of the conversation swirled trough her mind.

-.-.-

"_Yes Winry, I got my body back," Al said and Winry opened her mouth to squeal with joy, but the sound died in her throat. Something was wrong with the way Al sad it. There was dread not happiness in his voice._

"_Al is..." She took a deep breath and closed her eyes, "Something went wrong, didn't it?"_

_There was a long pause before Al finally answered._

"_**Yes**__," he whimpered quietly, like a wounded animal, and then the words were pouring out of him. _

-.-.-

Winry banged her head lightly against the wall, as if she could beat some sort of order to her thoughts. Al had told her everything. Or maybe not everything, but at least the important points, and that was bad enough.

-.-.-

"_Brother will need new automail"_

"_WATH! Did that idiot destroy them again! I will..."_

"_No!" Al interrupted, "His automail are fine. He..." a shaky breath, almost a sob._

"_But... what's wrong then?" Winry asked in confusion, confusion tinted with fear._

"_His other arm and leg. The Gate took them as payment!"_

"_... No..."_

"_Yes, and it took his eyes too Winry," Al managed to say in a tightly controlled voice. _

-.-.-

The news has stunned her in to silence for at least a minute, and Al had given her that time, but still. _His eyes too..._ It was so unfair, so cruel. Winry wasn't sure that she really believed it. Some part of her heart was screaming it's denial and the rest of her was numb. It couldn't be true, it just couldn't. But of course it was true. Al would never lie about something like that. _Haven't they suffered enough? _She thought,_ Hadn't they already paid more than what was equivalent? Damn that freaking Alchemy. Science my ass, it's a devil's bargain all the time_, Winry fumed in her mind. She wanted to cry, or scream. Wanted to drown in tears, or rant and rave at the world, but somehow she could do neither. _And I can't even go to Central and help them. Damn it! Why did I promise Al to stay here? I will go mad before they get here!_ Winry cursed helplessly and felt the tears burn in her eyes.

-.-.-

"_No, please Winry, you can't come here. The military are still looking for Brother. If anyone recognises you they could follow you here, or force you to tell them were we are. Please Winry," Al pleaded and Winry cursed. _

-.-.-

He was right of course. Wasn't that exactly what had happened when Mustang and his team came to Rezembool looking for Ed? Winry wouldn't do the same mistake again.

-.-.-

"_I have called Sensei, she will come to Central and then help us get home," Al explained, "She will bring her husband, and you know that Sig easily can carry Brother. And he won't dare to make a fuss of it if Sensei is there," Al added and Winry had to smile. If there were one person in the world that could make Ed behave it was Izumi Curtis._

"_Okey then Al, I will stay here," Winry sighted shakily, "But don't you dare get in any more trouble on the way!" she added in an attempt to return some sort of normality in her tone. It didn't work._

"_Yes Winry, I will try," was Al's toneless reply._

-.-.-

Forcing back her tears Winry concentrated her thoughts on the part of what Al told her that didn't make sense. The part that maybe could give her some hope.

-.-.-

"_Winry, if anyone asks for Brother then you have to tell them that you know nothing."_

"_Of course I won't tell anyone that I have heard from you, the military are looking for you after all," Winry said and rolled her eyes. Did they think that she was stupid?_

"_Winry," Al sighted, "I didn't mean it like that. I'm trying to tell you that if **anyone** asks for us you can't tell anything, and that includes Colonel Mustang and his men."_

_Winry frowned, "But can't you trust Mustang? He did help you when he was sent out here. I don't like the man, but I think he was honest when he said that he would try and keep the military away from you, and Miss Hawkeye won't let him back stab you."_

"_No, it's nothing like that. I think we can trust the Colonel. It's just that Brother don't want anyone to know how badly wounded he is. He especially don't want them to know that he is blind. If the military learns that he has lost his eyes they will discharge him as a cripple and take away his state license."_

"_**What!**" Winry fumed, "Doesn't your brother ever stop being an idiot! Why the hell would he worry over his damn state licence, and besides, isn't that a bit too late? He has already deserted!"_

"_No, he won't count as a deserter if the Colonel can prove that the Führer was a homunculus and that Dante was the puppet master behind all of it," Al interrupted, "and he **will** be able to prove it. As soon as we have got a better picture of what has happened with Mustang Brother and I will send him a report that gives him everything he needs. Someone in the military has to know the truth, and even Brother thinks that we can trust the Colonel's judgement about what to do with that knowledge."_

"_Oh... Well, that's true," Winry admitted, "But still. Why does Ed want to keep his state licence? It doesn't make sense, you should just come home and forget about that damn silver watch!"_

"_Well, first of all, we will need to have access to the libraries to find a way to get back what Brother lost," Al said in a voice that didn't allow any objections, "but then there is something more. I..." Al hesitated, "The Gate, it can give as well as take and Brother... I think he knows something. He says that there is something he has to do, and to do it he will need the authority of a State Alchemist. He hasn't explained exactly what he means," Al admitted and then got thoughtful, "Actually, I don't think he **knows** exactly what he means yet, but still... If the knowledge comes from the Gate then it will take some time to make sense out of it, but it will be true" he explained and Winry had to mull that over for a while. _

_**Knowledge from the Gate, what are you up to this time Ed?** Winry thought. **Can't you just come home? **She sighted and then frowned when the next thought hit her._

"_But that doesn't change anything!" she said, "He is still blind even if no one knows about it! He won't get his eyes back just because he needs them! ...Right? Or can he do something about it with that Gate?" She added with a slight hint of hopefulness. Winry hadn't learned about the Gate until she had followed the brothers to Dublith where Ed had been forced to explain the details about Izumi's illness. In Winry's mind the Gate appeared as some sort of evil entity that was beyond any normal rules and laws, but maybe Ed could manipulate it somehow? _

"_No, I'm sorry Winry but it won't be that easy," Al said tiredly and Winry deflated. **Of course, it's never that easy.**_

"_But then, why?" _

"_Like I said, the Gate can give you things too," Al tried to explain even though he obviously wasn't sure he understood it himself, "Usually it gives you knowledge, true knowledge. I think that it may be some sort of side effect of passing trough the Gate," Al continued but then shook himself when he realised that he had slipped in to 'science mode'. "Anyway, Brother did learn something from the Gate and now he somehow is able to sort of... see, without eyes. It's some kind of blindsight" _

_Silence. There was a long surprised silence from Winry's end of the line._

"_You are serious? But that's..."_

"_Impossible?" Al filled in, "Yes, I know. But then again, I did see, hear and speak while I was living inside the armour, which had neither eyes, ears or mouth."_

"_Oh... If you put it that way," Winry admitted. Why had she never thought about how impossible Alphonse's existence in the armour had been? __**Maybe because I was too focused on trying to keep Ed alive, and then I had sort of gotten used to it,**__ she answered her own question. "But Ed is able to see by using this 'blindsight' you said?"_

"_Yes, sort of. He says that it's nothing like normal vision, but it's better than nothing and he is learning really quick"_

-.-.-

Al had tried to explain it more thorough to her, something about chi, but she hadn't been able to concentrate. The only thing of importance she learned was that Ed was doing the impossible. Again.

Winry sighted and dried her tears, she felt drained and somewhat numb. With a groan she got back on her feet and frowned, what was she doing? She didn't have time to sit down and cry. She had to start picking together the pieces for Ed's new automail, buy the ingredients to the apple pie she owed Alphonse and...

"Winry, who was on the phone?" Pinako came out from the workshop, cleaning her hands on an oily rag.

...and she had to tell grandma everything...

After a long explanation and some speculations about when they could expect the brothers to arrive they soon started on the safe and familiar subject of automail and automail surgery. Ed's new automail and surgery to be precise.

"So bean boy want a rush job again u-hu," Pinako huffed, "He's going to kill himself if he tries to do it like last time"

"Yes, Ed's an idiot, but he is strong"

"Never said that he wasn't, but no matter how strong and stubborn he is, this will be hard. We are talking four automail limbs here. If it was anyone else but Ed then I wouldn't even think about doing it," Pinako concluded and puffed on her pipe, "What's the rush for anyway? Didn't you say that Alphonse was fine?"

"I'm not sure. Apparently he has something he has to do. Al hadn't been able to get more than that out of him," Winry shrugged in annoyance.

"Humf, Edward always has something he has to do," Pinako said and shook her head, "But I'm surprised that Al is allowing that madness. Usually he is the one of them that has bout feet on the ground."

"Yes he is..." Winry said and remembered a part of the phone call.

-.-.-

"_Why are you allowing this?" Winry asked angrily, "Why are you encouraging him? He should rest, take his time and **heal** damn it!"_

"_Winry, it's just that... he has lost so much. It took **bout** his legs, **bout** his arms and his **eyes** Winry! Can you understand how much that is!" Al almost shouted the last but Winry could hear the pain under his anger, "**and** it took... Never mind," Al interrupted himself and took several deep breaths to calm himself. _

"_Al..." Winry carefully said._

"_What I'm trying to say is that anyone who have lost that much would be devastated, depressed. You know this, you know how hard it is for many of your patients to accept that they have lost **one** limb, and Brother..." Al halted to rein in his wavering voice, "You remember how Brother was the last time. Before Mustang came and gave him a possible way to make things right, gave him a goal. I don't want to see him like that again. I don't know what it is Brother is trying to do. I don't know if it is as important as he says, although it may very well be, but Brother **needs** this goal. He **needs** something to do, to aim for."_

"_I... I can understand that, but is it really right to play along, to trick him if you don't really believes in what he is trying to do?"_

"_Damn it Winry! I'm not tricking him! I didn't say that I don't believe in him, I said that I'm not sure about what he is trying to do **yet**. I'm saying that normally I would have tried to make him slow down but right now I don't dare to do anything that would make him lose his drive, his fire." There was a moment of silence following this announcement. _

"_Alphonse Elric," Winry then said in a stern voice, "aren't you underestimating your brother now? You lived in that armour for years without any of us having to tiptoe around you to spare your feelings."_

"_Yes Winry, but that was different. I couldn't eat, sleep, taste, smell or feel anything, but I could see, hear and move around and try to **do** something about it," Al explained, "Right now Brother is **helpless**, he can't do **anything** without automail. And to get automail he will have to go trough the surgery and the rehabilitation, and you know how rough that is. He needs every ounce of stubbornness and drive that he has to get trough it all."_

"_Well, yes..." Winry faltered, she could see his point, and then she realised that she hadn't asked Al about how Ed **was** handling this, "Oh, Al... sorry that I didn't ask earlier, but how **is** Ed taking this?"_

"_That's the thing Winry. He is taking it really well, almost unnaturally so. First of all he is really happy for my sake, he smiles every time I tell him about what I have done during the day and he bickers with me just as usual. And about the limbs and eyes... Well it makes him sad, but most of all he is annoyed, angry and impatient to get his new automail and learn to use the chi-sight properly," Al reported, "But the strangest part is when we talk about the Gate," Al stopped, searching for the right words, "You know that Brother always has been afraid of that thing? Not that I blame him because it really scares me too. But the ting is that when he told me what he remembered from the Gate, about what it did to him, he wasn't scared. Instead he was... Well, 'severely pissed of' sort of covers it."_

"_Wait, you are telling me that Ed is angry at **the Gate**?"_

"_Yes."_

"_That's madness. You know that, right?"_

"_Yeah," Al sighted, "I'm not sure what to do about it either, but right now I very much prefer an impatient and angry Ed rather then a depressed or, even worse, a resigned one."_

-.-.-

"Al has his reasons," Winry said slowly. Pinako watched her with scrutinising eyes and then she nodded with a smile.

"I'm sure he has," was all she said, "And shouldn't you make dinner? The meatloaf won't cook itself you know," Pinako added and chuckled at her granddaughter's stricken expression.

"Oh damn it! The flies," Winry shouted and hurried to the kitchen, already waving to scare away the buzzing insects that threatened to spoil the food.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

**AN:** I'm alive! Yeah, sorry for the long gap in the updates, I had some serious writer's block and a chaotic real life.

This chapter is almost nothing but dialogue, which I find kind of hard to write, and it doesn't move the plot forward that much. But hey, it's an update at least... And I tried to make it a little more interesting with the flash-back thing. Next chapter will be much more fun to write since there will be less talking and more action. (finally!)

And I'm still feeling guilty for making everybody act as if Ed loosing his eyes was the end of the world or something (and here I gives my regard to FantasyFanatic01 who **is** blind and is reading this fic) but I thought that it was in character. I figured that it wouldn't be _that_ bad to lose a limb in the FMA-world, with their automail and everything, but they don't have computers and other nifty things to make life easier for blind people. So, yeah, people will keep freaking out about it.


End file.
